Where I am right now...

First, let me say thank you to all the people who expressed condolences in my mother’s passing. I appreciate them so much, and it has helped to know there are people who have held me in their thoughts and prayers.

It’s been a really dark and difficult time. The stress and grief seem to have sent my pain levels higher than I thought they could go. I have not been functioning very well at all – missing work, not taking calls, not really motivated to do much of anything and not hopeful that things would change. At the same time, I’ve been trying different measures to manage the pain – physical therapy, acupuncture, herbs and vitamins, along with continuing the fibromyalgia, anti-inflammatory, and pain meds.

Last week, my doctor put me on Cymbalta. It’s an anti-depressant that helps with pain, and it’s recently been approved for fibromyalgia. My pain is definitely at a lower level than it was a week ago, and for that I am very grateful. It’s amazing how much difference a little pain relief makes. Emotionally, I mean.

For the most part, I’m still not leaving the house except to go to work, and I’m still avoiding taking calls and dealing with people. But it’s okay. It’s what I need to do right now. I’m feeling a lot of anger and sadness all mixed together, and over a number of different situations in our lives right now. I hope that will change soon, but it’s where I am right now…