Patty's Life

I have a new blog!

2009-06-16T18:35:00.002-05:00

I have not been doing well on a low-carb diet for quite some while now. I want to get back to it, but my head is just not there. And it’s always been my “head” at the source of my weight issues. I hope I can get back on it and stay on it, but until I do, I sort of feel funny posting at “lowcarbpatty.” Does that make sense?

Anyway, my new blog is called The Small Stuff and I hope you will go check it out. It’s just about my life and whatever I feel like writing about, pretty much. I'll post on this one occasionally as well, but will feel better about it when I can honestly say I'm "doing" low carb.

Take care!

Rosacea - what works for me

2009-05-15T18:45:00.001-05:00

I have rosacea, which I’d say is about 90% controlled at most times. However, about once or twice a year, I used to get horrible flare-ups, which are embarrassing at best and quite painful at worst. In general, I have very dry, very sensitive skin.

Having tried many OTC and prescription treatments with varying degrees of success but no overwhelming front runner, almost a year ago I found myself in the midst of yet another awful flare. It was very painful and very embarrassing. If you suffer from this problem, I know you understand what I mean.

In my medicine cabinet at the time, I had Metrogel Cream (prescription), a sulfur-based cream (prescription), Oracea (prescription antibiotic), and other various OTC creams, soaps, salves, etc. However, at the worst of the flare – none of these products helped; in fact, it was downright painful to put anything at all on my face. I’d had some success from using organic coconut oil straight from the jar, but for some reason, it seemed to have lost its effectiveness for me.

In desperation, I decided to try a product I’d seen someone comment about on a rosacea forum I occasionally visited. It’s made by PEL Naturals -- Redness & Blemish Control. I also either bought or got free a sample size of their Super-Rich Moisturizer. Wow! From the first time I put on the moisturizer, my skin felt so much better – soothed, softer, not inflamed… After my skin was calmed down, I was able to start using the Redness & Blemish Control, and in only a few days, these products made a huge difference in my skin. The stuff is made with emu oil, along with a bunch of other natural oils and extracts. It has no artificial ingredients at all. I’ve continued using it since that time and continue to be very pleased with the results.

Now, I’m certainly not saying these products will work the same for everyone who tries them, but I have been so happy with my results, I thought I would make this post for anyone else who wanted to give them a try.

Like I said at the beginning of my post, my rosacea now stays pretty much under control. I have some bumps under the skin that don’t ever come to the surface but basically don’t ever go away. It’s more of something I can feel with my fingers, rather than something I see in the mirror. If I notice any redness coming up, I try to up my use of the products from once a day to twice, and it stops the redness from spreading or becoming noticeable.

Here’s a website if you’re interested.

I don’t work for PEL, nor do I receive any sort of commission from them – like I said, I just thought I’d share my two cents worth in hopes that it might help someone else.

Unpacking and settling in

2009-05-13T19:26:00.001-05:00

I’d never make it as a mover …

So, we’re in the new house and out of the old house. We even closed on the old house yesterday (yay!), so we’re done with that.

There are still quite a few boxes, but a lot more that are empty than full now. My kitchen is fully functional and stocked, and I have been enjoying cooking and puttering around there. I’ve been learning to cook with electric on a glass cooktop. I’d been spoiled with gas for the last 12 years in my house. We still have no pictures on the wall and no decorations out to speak of – haven’t even opened most of those boxes yet.

We have a screened-in porch, which we’re very excited about and we just bought a patio set for that room, so we can enjoy evenings outside but away from the mosquitoes.

We have the guest room and the study about 75% and 90% done, respectively. We haven’t made much progress in our bedroom, though. Still got a ways to go!

My muscles have gotten a good, hard workout – much more than I typically get, and after several days where I could barely walk in the morning, it’s a lot better. I’ve taken Chance for several walks around our new neighborhood – which he loves, and which is good for me, too.

My goal is to finish the house and then keep up with a good level of physical activity. Actually, just having a house this size will up my activity – what with cleaning and such. Anyway, we’re enjoying our new digs, and I’ll post more soon.

Our new house ...

2009-04-30T21:40:00.002-05:00

We did our final walk-through yesterday and closed on the house today ... yay! I was surprised and so thrilled to see that the previous owners actually planted flowers for us -- is that a generous gesture, or what? They planted beautiful petunias in the front beds. Also, the azalea bushes are starting to bloom, and a rose bush on one end of the house is in full bloom. I am just totally jazzed -- the house looks so nice.

Here's a picture:

Cleaning the refrigerator ... ugh!

2009-04-25T13:53:00.002-05:00

So I’ve been busy today cleaning the fridge. And I mean taking the drawers out, cleaning inside the little grooves and rubber gasket thingies all around it, scrubbing down the shelves and door compartments, etc. Deep cleaning. And you know? For someone who felt reasonably good about her housekeeping abilities (not anywhere near perfect, mind you, but not living in a pigsty either) – this is a shock. My refrigerator was disgusting! “Eeeeeuuuwwww” is the first word that comes to mind. It has taken repeated, and I mean repeated, spraying and scrubbing to get it clean. Sheesh……..how long has it been since I deep cleaned the fridge? I mean, besides just swiping it down? Hmmmmmmmmm….. Well, Bush was in the White House, although I couldn’t swear it was his second term. Sad, isn't it? …so sad.

Packing continues. Good Lord, where did all this stuff come from and how did we have it all inside this small house?

My eating has been clean this week. Low carb, plenty of protein and the majority of my carbs coming from low-starch veggies – broccoli, cauliflower, greens, cabbage, green beans, etc. We’ve got a busy, busy ten days coming up, and I hope I can keep this kind of eating throughout the moving and settling-in process.

I've been busy!

2009-04-20T21:46:00.003-05:00

It’s been a nice evening. I made roasted chicken leg/thigh quarters and turnip greens…very tasty and low carb. I’m back on the wagon, so to speak, and trying to do better with my eating. Things are in a state of disarray and upheaval here at home, with packing boxes and crates up to our eyeballs. I hate the mess and feeling of chaos, but I know it’s an inescapable part of the moving process.

I’ve been calling all the people and companies who need to have our new address: utility company, internet provider, homeowners insurance, satellite company, newspaper, bank, and on and on… It’s a long list!

We’re getting really, really excited. Two weeks from tomorrow we will spend the first night in our new house. Remember Jeannie (“I Dream of Jeannie”)? Wish I could blink and we would be all moved in and settled!

Here's a shot of my azaleas blooming.

What I've been reading lately ...

2009-04-14T20:24:00.002-05:00

If you’ve been a follower of my blog for very long, you know I’m a big reader. Well, I’ve been reading some really good books lately and thought I’d share them.

I discovered Sandra Dallas several months ago and have enjoyed her books so much. The one I read most recently is called The Diary of Mattie Spenser and it is a fictional diary that a pioneer woman in the 1860’s writes, telling about her life – the hardships and joys – in the Colorado Territory. From the first page, I was completely enthralled by Mattie; the story seems so real and true to what life must have been like in those days. I have felt this way about every Sandra Dallas book I’ve read, and I look forward to reading more.

I just finished a really fun book by Marjorie Ford, The Diary of an American Au Pair, which is sort of The Nanny Diaries goes to Scotland. It was funny and very escapist – chick lit at its best. Another “diary,” but a completely different kind.

I’m in the middle of A Lion Called Christian by Anthony Bourke and John Rendall. This is the story behind that youtube video that was going around a couple years ago about the guys who raised a lion cub in London, then set it free in Africa, and their reunion with the lion in Africa a year later. I loved the video when it arrived in my email inbox. And I just happened to catch a documentary on Animal Planet a couple weeks ago that gave a lot more background and information about Christian and the two guys who raised him and loved him enough to set him free. Anyway, this book makes me feel good. I love animal stories and I love when people do the right thing. So it’s a win-win.

I also have to admit, I’ve been on the Janet Evanovich website, and she has the first chapter or so of her latest Stephanie Plum book, Finger Lickin’ Fifteen. I love, love, love the Stephanie Plum books and cannot wait for this one to come out in June. I also love how she puts “teasers” on her website, which totally suck me in and make me want the book even more.

I’ve read the first book in the Twilight series and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. So, I’ve ordered the second one off half.com and will start down that road.

I have the latest in the Diane Mott Davidson series about a caterer (Goldy Schultz) who cooks up a storm and also solves murders in her spare time. It’s called Fatally Flaky. I love those books and actually made a couple of the recipes in some of the early ones.

Guess that’s it for now. Oh, and Steve says half the moving truck will be filled with boxes of books. (He’s as big of a reader as I am.)

A quiet Sunday evening

2009-04-12T21:17:00.003-05:00

I’m sitting here on a quiet Sunday evening in my big recliner with my laptop, window open just a little, enjoying a cool breeze. It rained earlier and will rain again tonight, but it’s not at the moment. Boxes and crates are piled up next to the chair and in front of the rolltop desk that sits in our living room. We’ve packed about a dozen large boxes/crates this weekend and have a lot more to go.

Boots, my sweet and skittish kitty, is not at all happy about the addition of all these boxes and all the activity surrounding them. He knows something is up and hates change. In fact, change scares him to death. (I sort of know how he must feel.) I probably won’t be able to find Boots for about a week after we get him moved into the new house.

Chance, on the other hand, has been a little hyper (more than usual), which is his typical reaction to any sort of hoopla. He loves any and all activity and will love our new house. He will love his new yard and sniffing all the new smells out there and will love putting his scent on top of all those smells. It's a dog thing.

Here are shots of both of them tonight. Boots is sitting on his kitty perch with his nose stuck under the window sill. Chance’s is a little blurry, but it’s hard to pin down a moving target…

Happy Easter

2009-04-11T19:30:00.004-05:00

Have a happy and blessed Easter, and to my Jewish friends, a joyous Passover.

It's been a long time ...

2009-04-10T18:08:00.006-05:00

Sorry, Vikki (and everyone else); I know I’ve been AWOL for a long time.

Things have been busy in my little corner of the world. My biggest news is: we bought a new house! We close April 30th and will move the first week of May. It’s in a really great neighborhood and we’ll have a lot more room and a lot of nice extras. It’s got a beautiful Bradford Pear tree in the front yard and a huge oak tree on the side. Then there’s another flowering tree in the far corner of the back yard; I’m not sure, but I think it’s a cherry tree. How cool is that? Speaking of trees, I will miss my big pecan tree in our back yard; it has kept me supplied with pecans for all the years I’ve been here.

I spent today packing. It’s amazing how much we have accumulated in 12 years of living in this small house … and that with us remaining very conscious of our space limitations. I hate a cluttered house, so it’s been an ongoing effort to minimize. But even with that, we have a lot of stuff.

My health issues are better. I’m on two different medicines for fibromyalgia, and they have made a big difference. I’ve also gotten several massages, which help my neck and shoulders, and feel so good and so … indulgent. I love getting them.

I am so far off-track right now in my eating. I have nothing to say for myself... I hope to get back on track soon. But probably not until after the move.

Here's a picture of the new place.

Where I am right now...

2009-02-22T11:11:00.000-06:00

First, let me say thank you to all the people who expressed condolences in my mother’s passing. I appreciate them so much, and it has helped to know there are people who have held me in their thoughts and prayers.

It’s been a really dark and difficult time. The stress and grief seem to have sent my pain levels higher than I thought they could go. I have not been functioning very well at all – missing work, not taking calls, not really motivated to do much of anything and not hopeful that things would change. At the same time, I’ve been trying different measures to manage the pain – physical therapy, acupuncture, herbs and vitamins, along with continuing the fibromyalgia, anti-inflammatory, and pain meds.

Last week, my doctor put me on Cymbalta. It’s an anti-depressant that helps with pain, and it’s recently been approved for fibromyalgia. My pain is definitely at a lower level than it was a week ago, and for that I am very grateful. It’s amazing how much difference a little pain relief makes. Emotionally, I mean.

For the most part, I’m still not leaving the house except to go to work, and I’m still avoiding taking calls and dealing with people. But it’s okay. It’s what I need to do right now. I’m feeling a lot of anger and sadness all mixed together, and over a number of different situations in our lives right now. I hope that will change soon, but it’s where I am right now…

Goodbye, Mom ...

2009-02-06T09:16:00.001-06:00

My mother passed away on Sunday, February 1, 2009 at 3:20 a.m. following a long and hard battle with dementia. She was well loved and loved well, and she will be greatly missed.

I’m not functioning terribly well yet, but I wanted to make this post, just to let my readers know. I’ll post more soon. It’s terribly, terribly hard – as anyone who has lost a mother would know. I’ve spent the last few years mourning the “loss” of my mother (the true essence of her), and so I guess (irrationally) I thought that her actual death would not be so very painful. After all, it was not unexpected. And by the end, we were praying that she would just not suffer anymore. But … even with all that … this is a pain that I’ve never experienced.

If you’ve been a long-time reader of this blog, you know that within the past two years I’ve lost both my sister (in a house fire) and my brother (cancer). And now my mom. I think I’m actually feeling the culmination of all three losses at once.

Anyway, it’s just incredibly hard and I’m not in a good place right now. I believe it will get easier as time goes on – that’s what friends are telling me, anyway.

I’ll post more when I can.

Dementia and not eating

2009-01-28T12:32:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, my 86-year old mom has advanced dementia and lives in a nursing home. Her condition has steadily worsened over the past few years, and the news these days is not good.

My mother stopped eating a couple weeks ago. She has now stopped drinking water or any other liquids. She is refusing her meds as well. The doctor tells us that not eating and drinking is a sign of late stages dementia. He said the brain essentially “forgets” to tell the stomach it’s hungry or thirsty.

The doctor says it’s only a matter of time for Mom at this point, probably not more than a month. We are looking into hospice treatment for her, so that her pain will be as minimal as possible.

Almost 20 years ago, my mother signed a living will giving specific instructions on how she wanted to be treated (or not treated) in just this type of situation. I witnessed that document and remember thinking that I hoped we would never have to face anything listed on that piece of paper.

Today, I am so grateful to my mother for having the foresight and love for her family to set out exactly what she wanted and did not want, in terms of life-saving measures. Now, we don’t have to guess what her wishes are – her true wishes, made with clear-headed thinking and clarity, almost 20 years ago. It makes the decisions we have to make – as hard as they are - much easier.

It’s been a hard time for me, and I know it’s going to get harder before it gets any easier. I would appreciate your prayers for my mom and my family as we walk through this hard place. And, if I’m out of commission and out of touch for awhile, I hope you’ll understand.

The best peanut butter!

2009-01-18T15:06:00.002-06:00

So... from time to time I share product information, when I stumble upon something really good. This is one of those times.

I have sort of unofficially been on a "nut butter search" for a creamy, satisfying, yet low carb nut butter. I found one called "Sun Butter" that was made from sunflower seeds, but my local Kroger stopped carrying it, so once again, I was on the hunt. I didn't care for the flavor of most of the "natural" peanut butters I tried -- they tasted sort of globby in my mouth (is globby a word? probably not, but you know what I mean...) Anyway, as a girl raised on Skippy and Peter Pan, they just fell short in both texture and flavor.

But, enter stage left Smuckers Natural Creamy Peanut Butter. Smuckers Natural is the best peanut butter I've ever had. I kid you not. Best of all, the ingredients are: peanuts and salt. That's it. Can't get much more "natural" than that. The flavor reminds me of the peanut butters I grew up with.

And, I guess that's the heart and soul of why we like most foods that we like. Usually, they remind us of something we loved as a child, or take us back (even subconsciously) to a time or a place when we were happy and content. At least, that's my two-cent take on it.

Anyway, if you're looking for a peanut butter that's tasty and has no sugar or added ingredients, give Smuckers Natural a try. Hopefully, you'll love it.

Vikki Ann's Low Carb Chocolate Microwave Torte

2009-01-17T19:52:00.002-06:00

Rosie – ask and you shall receive, girl! Here’s the yummy chocolate torte recipe my friend Vikki Ann at the Low Carb Forum at About.com created. She is sort of the “Sandra Lee” of that forum, imho … all about the quick and easy.

Best of all, this recipe fits into my new rules of "no flour and no sugar." I still haven't made it since I've been on the new eating plan, but I plan on doing so soon. This was a nice treat I enjoyed many times while on my low carb plan.

Anyway, Vikki Ann gave me permission to print it here. She says she keeps making tweaks and changes to this to vary the flavors, but to me, this is just perfect. Here is the original location of her recipe and the whole thread that follows.

Vikki Ann’s Chocolate Microwave Torte

Cake:
2 Tbsp. butter or coconut oil
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 Tbsp. Walden Farms Chocolate Syrup
¼ cup flaxseed meal
1 tsp. baking powder
1-2 tsp. water

Topping:
1-2 tsp. sugar-free peanut butter (my favorite is Smuckers Natural)
2-4 Tbsp. Walden Farms Chocolate Syrup
Whipped cream, to taste

In a microwave-safe small bowl or tall cup, melt butter/oil. Add the remainder of ingredients, mixing well. You want a batter-like consistency, so if it sits for more than a minute or so, you’ll have to add more water. Put plastic wrap over the top and poke a hole in it; microwave on high for 1 minute, 30 seconds.

Meanwhile, mix the peanut butter and chocolate syrup. Spread this over the cake when it’s “fresh out of the oven” and top with a dollop of whipped cream.

This recipe is a real winner. So fast and so easy, and so delicious. Give it a try.

physical therapy and how it's going ...

2009-01-15T22:10:00.002-06:00

So, I’ve been doing physical therapy for a few days now, and my neck and shoulder are beginning to feel better. The last two visits, the therapist worked on my upper back/neck/shoulder for between 20 and 30 minutes, trying to get the muscles to release. Both times, they finally did, and the relief was wonderful. I’m working on my posture, and I’ve made some adjustments to my work station and chair at work, and even my seat in the car. In addition, I have exercises that I’m doing throughout the day.

I hope the day will come when I’m pain-free. When I stop to think about it, my shoulder has been this way a very long time, and I’ve just gotten used to it, for the most part, until it got so much worse recently. So it’s going to take some effort on my part to improve what I can, which will improve my entire spine, so they tell me.

On the way home tonight, I heard a great quote, and it fits so well with the work I’m doing to change my spinal problems:

“Abeunt studia in mores.” (Latin) = “Practices zealously pursued pass into habits.”

So … here’s to zealous pursuit of good practices!

P.S. My best pal Vikki's mom is going in for heart valve replacement surgery tomorrow morning. So, if you would, send up a prayer or good thoughts for Vikki's mom. We would both appreciate it so much!

Lovely news!

2009-01-12T20:04:00.004-06:00

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy! (Did anyone else watch Ren and Stimpy back in the early 90s?) Loved them.

But anyway. I had my “official” weigh-in this morning and Glory Be, I’m down by 3.5 pounds in the last week.

Now, I’m not letting myself say the old “it’s probably water weight, I shouldn’t get too excited…blah, blah, blah…” spiel. Not gonna go there. I refuse to do that! The fact of the matter is, I weighed 3.5 pounds less this morning than I did 7 days ago. I will take it and be glad.

It gives me hope that this new eating plan truly will work for me. I’ve got to say, I love it. The only thing I’ve really missed is “something sweet” after a meal occasionally. And I have a terrific recipe for a sugar-free microwave flaxseed “chocolate torte” that my friend Vikki Ann on the Low Carb Forum at About.com created. It meets the criteria of my new eating plan perfectly – no flour and no sugar. Yet it’s wonderfully yummy in an ooey-gooey way. Okay, my mouth is watering…

Sorry, I got off track there for a minute. Anyhoo, my original thought was that I remain hopeful in my new eating plan. I really can do this. And I really will lose weight!

We had fun!

2009-01-11T12:36:00.006-06:00

We had a good time last night at my work party. It's fun every once in awhile to get all dressed up and go to a party.

I did pretty well on my eating plan. I had one huge fried shrimp before dinner, dipped in a yummy roulade. There were a bunch of different appetizers they kept bringing around, but I resisted. Dinner was surf and turf with butternut squash and sauteed spinach, with a delicious sauce drizzled on the plate. I ate a little more than half of it.

Dessert (Lord help us) was a chocolate brownie-type pie, with a scoop of butter pecan ice cream and some type of caramel-y sauce drizzled. I took two tiny bites. Honest.

Anyway, it was fun and I'm glad we went.

Saturday morning in a quiet house

2009-01-10T08:14:00.004-06:00

Well, hubby just left to go get a haircut, and I'm sitting here sipping my coffee and sort of reflecting over the past week.

I think I've done well on the new eating plan. I say "think" because I've yet to weigh. "Official" weigh-in is Monday morning, and I'm hoping for at least a few pounds. I know 1-2 pounds is a "good result," but this is the first week, and what can I say ... I hope it's more than that. Anyway, I'm staying off the scale until Monday morning.

But I'm just not sure what to expect from the scale. I have felt very indulgent this week -- eating brown rice, eating Ezekiel bread, and a few other foods that would never, ever have been allowed into my low-carb eating plan.

I've also started using Splenda with Fiber. I figure if I'm going to use an artificial sweetener anyway, might as well get a little benefit from it.

It remains to be seen how successful the actual weight loss will be. But my joints do feel better this week. I don't know if that's related to my diet, but there it is.

I'm starting physical therapy this next week and hope it will help the pain in my neck, right shoulder, and upper back. It is affecting my daily life, so it's time to do something.

I've got the regular Saturday chores on my list of things to do today (clean house, do laundry) but I also want and need to clean out my closet. I've been putting it off mostly because of my right shoulder issue. It involves a lot of reaching and extending, and I just don't want to aggravate it any more than it already is. So ... I may defer it yet another week or so...

Tonight my firm that I work for has its annual anniversary party (black tie optional). I'm not "decking out" as much as I did last year, but I'm fairly happy with my outfit and hope it will be a fun evening. It basically consists of a cocktail hour, dinner, then dancing to a band and time for socializing. It's nice to see everyone dressed up and all the partners in a tux or very nice dress. And it's fun to see folks out on the dance floor and all their moves!

More later.

A quick update to my new eating plan

2009-01-05T20:18:00.002-06:00

So, in response to all the comments and questions I’ve had about the new eating plan, I wanted to give a little clarification. There’s actually a book about this diet and I’ve had it for quite some time but have never tried this way of eating. But to simplify, the No Flour/No Sugar diet is basically just that – I’m not eating anything that contains either of those ingredients. And you would be surprised at how many products have sugar in them! But if either flour or sugar is listed in the ingredient list, I can’t have it.

Mostly this will be a whole, “real” food eating plan. Lots of fresh veggies and some fruit, plenty of protein, and limited fats. I’ve done really well today. Here’s my menu so far for the day:

2 cups coffee with Splenda and half and half

fresh veggies (baby carrots, grape tomatoes, and sliced cucumber) with a little Asian Walden Farms Salad Dressing for dipping

bean soup with ham

an apple with sunflower nut butter (sugar free and delicious!)

a small chicken breast, roasted
green beans with Mrs. Dash seasoning
small serving of rice

I feel good about this plan, and I really hope I can lose weight with it. It is a reduced carbohydrate plan, but by no means as low carb as I was doing up until a few months ago. But it would be wonderful if I can enjoy beans, oatmeal, etc. and still be able to lose weight. It sounds reasonable to me, and I guess time will tell.

No Flour/No Sugar

2009-01-04T16:25:00.000-06:00

So, tomorrow I am embarking on a new eating plan – the No Flour/No Sugar plan. As much flour and sugar as I have had in the past few months, surely I will lose weight cutting it out!

I’m kind of excited, and I’ll keep you updated on how I’m doing. I have been doing some reading and research on what sort of things I can and can’t have, and I’ll be sharing that information as well.

More to come.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T19:07:00.004-06:00

May your year be full of happiness and void of pain. May peace and joy be a part of your daily life. And, may you enjoy health and grace every day!

Here's to a happy, healthy 2009 for us all!

Sunday evening check-in

2008-12-28T20:36:00.001-06:00

You know, for someone who hates living with a lot of drama, I have had more than my fair share of it lately…

Steve gave me a scare a couple weeks ago. We spent one full day at the Emergency Room, due to his having some pretty severe stomach pain. Considering all he’s been through, this was really scary. The radiologist at the ER said the CT scan showed Steve had an abscess inside his stomach. They said it might be possible to insert a needle into the abscess and draw out the infection, but if not, that further surgery would be required.

But, when we went to Steve’s surgeon the next day, he said he did not believe it was an abscess at all; rather, that it was a build-up of excess fluid. He said that happens sometimes after major surgery. He stuck a huge needle into Steve’s abdomen, bless his heart. Anyway, the doctor gave him two different kinds of strong antibiotics and said they should take care of the pain and the fluid. Steve’s pain persisted for several days, but it did subside over time. He just finished the last of the antibiotics yesterday, and he goes back to see the surgeon tomorrow for a follow-up visit.

My neck and shoulder pain have continued, but the doctor put me on Lyrica and another anti-inflammatory. The meds seem to be working, because my pain has diminished quite a bit and, as long as I remember to take my medicine as directed (several times a day, God help me), then my neck and shoulder feels better.

My low carb diet has been all but thrown out the window for several months now, and I hope to get back to a sensible eating plan soon, as in next week. I’ve gained 20 pounds, and I don’t want to gain any more. I just finished a book, Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet by Peter Gott, M.D. Someone recommended it who has lost weight doing this plan. It makes a lot of sense to me, and I’m going to give it a whirl.

I stuck to a modified version of the Atkins Diet for almost a year and a half, and was very successful with it – losing over 60 pounds. However, after eating very low carb for so long, I had gotten to the place where I really missed eating things like beans, brown rice, oatmeal, and fruit like pears and apples. I know I cannot stay extremely low carb and be happy. The Dr. Gott plan cuts out a huge amount of carbs from the normal diet, but includes some foods that would be prohibited from the Atkins plan.

I’ll have to actually put this plan in action for awhile to see if it works for me; hopefully it will. If it does not, then I’ll regroup and perhaps go back to Atkins. I know I was successful on that. However, if I can still lose weight and have a little more freedom in my diet, then I’m all over that…

I had my annual evaluation at work the other day. I got a good rating and a nice bonus. I also got the chance to ask my boss about my job security. I felt pretty secure in my job, but wanted some reassurance, I guess, that it wasn’t just wishful thinking on my part. She assured me that we, as a Firm, have excellent future growth potential, and that even in a bad economy, our work will remain steady, and our jobs will remain secure. She said my personal job security level is excellent and I don’t need to worry about that. It did reassure me, because as much as you hope you are safe, the way things have been lately, you never know…

I’m watching a rerun movie on TV right now – “Castaway.” It’s one of my favorite movies and one that I can watch again and again … which is not true of most movies.

Well, I guess I’ve prattled on long enough. It’s been so long since I’ve posted, I guess I had a lot stacked up inside, just waiting to get out!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-27T13:15:00.008-06:00

Here are some more photos of my Christmas season.

Chance got two new toys for Christmas, and here they are:

Here's a shot of our tree on Christmas Eve -- lots of presents just waiting to be opened:

Steve collects airplanes (WWII) and I gave him this Italian Airforce Messerschmidt:

I collect nativity scenes, so here are a couple of mine:

And finally, we went over to Steve's sister's house Christmas morning and spent part of the day with their family. Since I don't have permission to post pictures of them, I will show you a shot of their sweet, sweet dog, Jasper, who is 13 years old:

I hope everyone had a happy Christmas and that you got to spend it with those you love.

More later!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T18:22:00.007-06:00

A very merry Christmas to all my friends.

Many blessings,

Patty

Another picture

2008-12-08T22:03:00.001-06:00

Not much time to post tonight, but here's a shot of our tree and, in the background, our "Mitford" village.

More later --

Decorating for Christmas

2008-12-06T20:07:00.004-06:00

It’s been a good day. Steve and I were up bright and early. We took Chance to the groomer, went out to breakfast, then to Lowe’s. We got a live tree and a live wreath. I’m so excited; we haven’t had a live tree in many years! Our pre-lit one finally bit the dust last year, and I’ve been looking forward to a “real” tree all year… We got a Douglas fir, and it’s beautiful.

Anyway, we were home by 10:30 and spent the rest of the day decorating. Steve put lights outside on the shrubs and around the front door while I decorated inside.

I’ll be posting more pictures, but here’s one I took a little while ago of our kitty, Boots, lying next to a stuffed reindeer we have…looks like he's not too sure about this newcomer.

The easiest roast I've ever made

2008-12-02T21:33:00.000-06:00

I made a roast today in my crockpot. It was super easy and turned out great. Here’s how I did it:

One English roast (shoulder roast)
1 pkg. Italian dressing mix
1 pkg. Ranch dressing mix
1 pkg. brown gravy mix
1 onion, chopped
1 can beef broth

Mix everything in crockpot. Cook on low for 8 hours until falling-apart tender.

This was the easiest roast I’ve ever made, and it made its own gravy. When I got home from work, I made a couple of sides, and we were eating dinner by 6:15.

I got tagged -- 7 things

2008-11-30T15:58:00.004-06:00

Wayne John tagged me earlier today. I love these memes, so I will gladly play along and tell seven things you may not know about me. Here goes:

Okay, being the computer guru I am (NOT!), I can't copy the doggone rules from Wayne John's blog. Maybe that could be number one ... I am not savvy at all in computer-ese.

1. See above.

2. I majored in vocal music in college and used to sing a lot in public. The biggest crowd I sang in front of was probably 20,000 ... but that's been a hundred years ago, or so. I still enjoy singing, but now it's for smaller groups at church and that's pretty much it.

3. I get very impatient driving in traffic, and my worst self emerges. Potty mouth and all.

4. My husband is very much a "gadget guy" but I hate technology. I miss having one remote control that did everything. I can't figure out how to use our DVR...

5. I pray every day.

6. I am addicted to carbohydrates. (Okay, so that's not a secret, is it??)

7. I was editor of my high school paper and seriously considered a major in journalism. I still want to write a novel ... someday!

Okay, that was painless. I won't tag anyone else, but if you want to play along, feel free!

Zucchini casserole - my way

2008-11-30T10:50:00.006-06:00

Living in Memphis, it's practically a requirement to make casseroles (sort of a "Southern thing," I guess). Here's one that I’ve made for years. It’s great to take to church suppers, family get-togethers, and that sort of thing, because you can bake it the day before, heat it up right before serving, and I think it’s even better the second day. There’s a million versions of this recipe floating around (take a look in any church cookbook you find), but here’s mine:

Zucchini Casserole

2 pounds zucchini, cut into ½ inch slices, then halved (so you have bite-sized chunks)
2 large carrots, grated
1 onion, finely chopped
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 8-ounce container of sour cream
small jar pimentos, drained well
1 box stuffing mix (I buy whatever’s on sale – this last time I used Stovetop Corn Bread Stuffing)
1 stick of butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a saucepan, barely cover the zucchini, carrots, and onion with water. Season with salt and pepper, and cook until crisp-tender, but not too soft (about 6-8 minutes, give or take). Drain well. Mix zucchini mixture with soup, sour cream, and pimentos.

Mix box of stuffing with butter. Add half of stuffing to the zucchini mixture, and place in a 2-quart baking dish. Evenly spread the remaining stuffing on top.

Bake for 35-40 minutes until golden brown. Let set at least 10 minutes before serving. Longer is better.

Now, I’ve made this while doing a much lower carb diet. The changes I made were to decrease the carrot to only one and increase the amount of zucchini. And, instead of stuffing mix, I've used GG Scandinavian Bran Crispbread crackers, or even Wasa Bread (pulsed in a food processor) – they both work great and save a TON of carbs (especially the crispbread).

Here's a link to the GG Bran Crispbread, in case you're not familiar with it:

Anyway, this makes a great casserole and is well worth the time and effort.

Thanksgiving plans

2008-11-26T18:37:00.002-06:00

First of all, let me wish everyone a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. I’ve got to say, it’s my favorite holiday, because it’s all about family, and it’s not so commercialized, like Christmas.

Anyway, having said that, this is going to be a very different Thanksgiving for us. Traditionally, my family has always tried our best to get together at Thanksgiving – all of us grown siblings/spouses and our mom. But last year brought big changes to our family. I lost my older sister, Barbara, and my oldest brother, Larry, within four months of each other. So our family was basically halved in size. Our mom has dementia and has had a hard year; she’s really gone downhill, both physically and mentally, in the last year.

Mom doesn’t do well these days leaving the nursing home. Within five minutes she’s asking to go home, and she’s miserable (and we’re miserable). So I am going to see my sister and my mom, and we’re going to have Thanksgiving lunch in the nursing home. Mom will be more comfortable and happy and most importantly, we can be together. I’m leaving my sweet husband home, and he will have Thanksgiving dinner with his family who live nearby.

It will be odd, because Steve and I have never been apart for Thanksgiving. But I really feel the need to see my mom. I don’t know how much longer she’ll “know” me, so I want to go. Plus, I don’t want my sister to be alone at Thanksgiving.

You know, it’s hard getting older and having siblings and parents with aging issues. Life can be tough, but I want to make the best of it.

Again, I want to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you’re spending it with family and that you have a great day. I’ll be back in town Saturday evening, so I’ll check in after that time.

My birthday!

2008-11-23T07:55:00.003-06:00

I had a great birthday. Most of it was spent puttering around the house, which makes me happy. I made us breakfast – scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Then I cleaned the bathroom (okay, not very “celebratory,” but hey…it needed to be done).

Steve gave me a beautiful card (it made me cry, I am such a sap). He also gave me an enamel coated cast iron Dutch oven that I’ve been wishing for for the longest. And a DVD set of “Two Fat Ladies” (a British cooking show that used to be on and I loved it). I also got several cards from friends and Steve’s aunt (I’m such a sucker for cards…)

I had a lot of cooking to do to get ready for our Sunday School class and family Thanksgiving lunch today after church. I made a zucchini squash casserole, 40 deviled eggs, and a cookie bar recipe called “Hello Dolly Bars.”

Then, we went to dinner at Bonefish Grill. First of all, we went early (around 5 pm) because we like to avoid the crowds and be home early (I know, we’re sort of “old fogey” that way, but it works for us). Anyway, the atmosphere in the restaurant was beautiful. Dim lights, candles, soft music. It wasn’t loud and clanking and booming like so many places are now. So that made me happy right from the beginning.

We ordered the “Mussels Josephine” as an appetizer, which were “Prince Edward Island mussels sautéed with lemon, garlic, onions, basil, and lemon wine sauce." Oh my gosh – they were incredible. It was a huge pile of them and they served them with crusty bread and a pesto/olive oil mixture on a plate for dipping. We were in heaven!

Then, we both ordered the Gulf Grouper for our entrée. I had Mango Salsa as my sauce for the fish, and Steve had lemon butter sauce. I had garlic mashed potatoes and Hericot Vert (French baby green beans) with mine, and Steve had the au gratin potatoes and succotash with his. We both had leftovers, so we’ve got dinner tonight covered.

The food was absolutely delicious and was a thing of beauty in its presentation. I highly recommend Bonefish Grill if you ever have the chance to go. Here's their website so you can see what they have:

http://www.bonefishgrill.com/

A good report

2008-11-18T20:40:00.001-06:00

My sweet husband went back to the surgeon yesterday for his follow-up visit and got a good report. Basically, the surgeon released him to eat any food he wants and to return to normal activities. Steve was very happy, needless to say. He said he stopped on the way home and ate part of a cheeseburger!

This weekend is my birthday, and I get to choose any restaurant for us to go to. My favorite place is called Paulette’s – it’s a beautiful dining experience. But I think I want to try something new… There are a couple of places I’ve been wanting to try – Texas de Brazil and Bonefish Grill. Right now I’m leaning toward Bonefish Grill, but it’s still to be decided for sure. What fun! We haven’t been out in soooooo long, and I hope it will be a special – and very fun – night.

On the menu for tomorrow: crockpot taco soup

2008-11-16T16:47:00.002-06:00

So, I've got all the fixins for taco soup, and will be making a big pot of it in the crockpot tomorrow. My version is pretty the same as everyone else's (depending on what I have in the pantry), but here's what is going in the soup pot tomorrow:

1 lb. ground beef, browned (I'll cook this up tonight and pop into the frig)
1 large (29 oz.) can of tomatoes (I have diced on hand)
1 can pinto beans
1 can black beans (you can use whatever kind of beans you like best)
1 can corn
1 small can green chilies
1 small jar diced pimentoes
1 package Ranch dressing mix
2-3 Tbsp. taco seasoning (you can use 1 packet of "store-bought" taco seasoning, but I bought it in bulk and just take out what I need)

Throw everything in the crockpot (don't drain any of the canned goods) and simmer on low for 4-6 hours (or all day, in my case ... since I'll be at work).

Easy-peasy, and oh so good on a cold November day...

A shameful product endorsement

2008-11-15T12:53:00.003-06:00

Now that the holidays are upon us (WHAT??? The HOLIDAYS! I'm not ready!!), I'm getting in this sort of "nesting" groove ... wanting to make fresh-baked goodies and home-cooked stews and soups and such.

And so I wanted to share an invaluable little gem I have found for use in baking. It's Dr. Fife's Non-Stick Cooking Oil. I buy mine here.

This stuff is worth its weight in gold! It positively, absolutely, without-a-doubt will keep your food from sticking to the pan. I've used it on a number of different pans, including a loaf pan that I'd been ready to pitch, because everything was sticking to it. But this cooking oil is wonderful. It's the best cooking oil I have ever used.

It comes in a little 8-oz. jar, and I usually use a small baggie as a "glove", dip my hand into the jar, and smear a very thin layer on the pan. It works like a dream. And this little jar is going to last me a long, long time, so it's well worth the $4.99 I paid for it!

You know ... it's sad to say, but in the times we live in, it's rare to find a product that actually lives up to its claims. This one does. It just does.

Is it Friday yet?

2008-11-10T20:50:00.000-06:00

It’s only Monday, and I’m exhausted.

I feel like I’m working two full-time jobs these days. I worked at home all weekend, cleaning the house and ridding us of a flea problem we discovered. It consisted of getting an exterminator to treat the back yard, Chem Dry to come clean the carpets, and me washing all the washable fabric in the whole house and scrubbing everything that could be scrubbed.

Additionally, I worked a couple hours overtime tonight. So I just feel plain old worn out.

More later…

Update on Hubby and other stuff ...

2008-11-04T19:09:00.005-06:00

Okay, Vikki … this is for you.

Steve is doing really well. He’s getting around amazingly well and is eating more. Tonight for dinner we had green beans with potatoes, creamed corn, and black-eyed peas. Not low-carb at all, but oh well. After working all day, I’m not up to making two different dinners. So I’m taking a break from the low-carb eating for awhile until life gets back on track.

Speaking of work, I’m back this week, and it’s been good. I work with such great people and I really enjoy my job. I’m blessed, I know. I left work a few minutes early today and voted on my way home. It wasn’t bad at all; I was in and out in under 25 minutes.

I’m starting to think about Christmas gifts. I usually have a lot more gifts bought by this time of the year, so I need to get in gear! I’ve decided I’m going to make my Cashew Brittle for co-worker and neighbor gifts. I didn’t make any last year, but everyone asks for it, so I’m going to do it this year. I’ll post that recipe soon – maybe tomorrow night. It’s super fast and easy, totally goof-proof, and delicious.

Remembering Larry ...

2008-11-03T21:18:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is November 4th. Besides being Election Day, it’s also my oldest brother’s birthday. Last year on November 4th, Larry was fighting for his life in a hospice. He lost that fight on November 6, 2007. So naturally, my thoughts are on him especially this week.

My big brother was quite a man. He was a wonderful family man – father to two sons and grandfather to five. He loved his family so much and was a great dad and grandpa, and he left a beautiful legacy behind in his family. He had had a successful career with Magnavox (later Phillips) and had been able to retire early.

Larry took an annual fishing trip to Canada with his buddies – they could only get to the cabin by seaplane and it was very remote and beautiful. He always said it was his favorite place.

He was an Elder at his church and very respected by all who knew him. He loved to travel and he and his wife were able to do quite a bit of traveling the last few years of his life. He was a wise and thoughtful man. I never heard him raise his voice to anyone and I don’t remember ever hearing him speak in anger. He was the person I went to for advice when it came to finances and investments; he was so good at that sort of thing.

Larry was also a great son. Our mom has dementia and is in a nursing home, and Larry visited her as much as he could – usually for about a week every other month.

He was wonderful big brother, and I miss him very, very much.

Deep breath -- it's almost over ...

2008-11-02T10:45:00.001-06:00

Can I just say that this election season has exhausted me? I am so tired of automated calls, junk mailings, negative TV ads, and non-stop media coverage that I could scream!

As a conservative, I will vote for McCain and Palin, but I’m not naïve enough to believe that they can make good on all the promises they’ve made. I don’t agree with them 100% on all issues, but I believe John McCain will help keep our country safe and I believe that he is a man of integrity and principle. And for me, that’s a vital ingredient for a leader.

Barack Obama may be that type of man, but I am not convinced. I just feel like I don’t know enough about him to make that judgment call. Too much of his history is a mystery. One thing I do know: as the most liberal member of Congress, his votes have been basically opposite of what mine would have been, so I disagree with him in many areas. However, if the Obama/Biden ticket wins, I will support him as my President and will keep him in my prayers, just as I would McCain.

I hate the way our election process has evolved (or should I say “devolved”?) I hate the negative campaigning and the incredible waste of money that make up elections now. Without millions of dollars to spend, a person doesn’t have a chance to win a major election in this country, regardless of how qualified he or she might be.

Underlying the weariness I feel over this election is a deep concern that, no matter who wins, we are a nation deeply divided. I’ve heard and seen hate-filled words and actions directed to Palin and Obama that I can scarcely believe my ears and eyes. I worry for the safety of our next President and Vice President – whoever they might be.

But for now, I just feel an impending sense of relief that it’s about to be over … at least I hope it is.

Soft Foods 101

2008-11-01T16:58:00.003-05:00

Steve has been limited to a soft-foods diet (no bread or meat), which has been a bit of a challenge to me, in terms of keeping it interesting and varied.

His favorite breakfast is two scrambled eggs, so I haven’t tried to change that. I made him oatmeal one morning, but he didn’t eat much of it, and, even though it didn't seem thick to me, I think maybe the consistency wasn’t thin enough for him. [Note to self: make oatmeal thinner next time!] Anyway, I feel good about him getting the protein, so I haven’t pushed him to try anything else as long as he’s happy with eggs. I did buy him a small box of Cream of Wheat, though, just in case he wants something different.

I bought convenience foods he could easily make for lunches and dinners, especially when I go back to work. For example, a meal might consist of Veg-All, very soft-cooked macaroni and cheese, and some Dole pears. Or, creamed spinach (Stouffer’s), creamed corn, and applesauce. Or, mashed potatoes, LeSeur peas, and tropical fruit cocktail. I bought a veggie lasagna and cooked it until it was falling apart-soft, and he and I both have enjoyed that. He also requested Blue Bunny Banana Split ice cream, so I got that, and he’ll have a very small dish of that once every day or two. He’s still drinking the Gatorade, and I’m glad for that because I think he can use all the nutrients he can get. I want to try beans and rice, but I think I'll give him another week or so more before we go there -- I'm so afraid to stress his stomach, and beans might do that ... although they would be such a good source of protein, and I know he really needs that...

I worry that when I go back to work Monday that he’ll just putter around and not really fix himself anything. I’ve got the frig stocked with all sorts of things, as well as practically every kind of Campbell Soup they make, and I want him to eat as balanced a diet as possible. But I know he’ll have what he wants – whatever looks good to him at the time. But it’s just so good to see him eat, I can’t even tell you…

Overall, he’s making good progress and seems to be getting a little stronger every day.

The kitty says Happy Halloween, too

2008-10-31T20:04:00.006-05:00

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T13:48:00.001-05:00

It’s been a good week. I have enjoyed being home and helping Steve this week. He’s making good progress, and we are thinking he will go back to work in a few weeks, hopefully on Monday, November 24. He has a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Monday the 17th, so we’ll know more then.

I’ve been able to get some rest this week, which is good! I couldn’t have imagined having to go back to work this week. But I’m looking forward to getting back on Monday. By then Steve will be able to do a lot more for himself, so it will be good for him as well, to help him get back on his feet.

We’re feeling very grateful that things turned out the way they did. The outcome could have been so much different, I know, and we are so fortunate.

Tonight is Halloween and I’ve bought some candy for trick-or-treaters. We usually get a fair amount from the neighborhood. There are several families around with young children. It varies from year to year, but last year we had a good number. Hope I have enough candy!

Just a quick check-in...

2008-10-28T23:17:00.002-05:00

So, we've been home from the hospital for a couple days now. Steve is doing very well, I think, considering all he's been through. He's moving v-e-r-y slowly and he is still very weak. But he's getting lots of rest and as much nutrition as I can get into him.

They sent us home with instructions to keep to a "mechanically soft diet." So he's had scrambled eggs, oatmeal, soup, soft veggies, fruit, applesauce, and a black bean veggie burger patty over the past couple of days. It takes very little to fill him up, so he's eating very small portions. But I am so happy to see him be able to eat and not feel nauseated. He's had no nausea and less pain than I thought he would, so we are feeling very blessed.

One night in the hospital, we were talking about Steve's surgeon, and I told him, "I think he saved your life." He said, "I think so, too." At the risk of sounding too dramatic ... I truly believe that. It scares me to think how close Steve really came to a life-altering and a life-threatening medical condition. Far too close for comfort, that's for sure!

Anyway, my days are very, very busy right now, but I'm happy we are over the hump and on the downward part of this journey. I'll check in again soon.

A note from the hospital

2008-10-25T20:54:00.002-05:00

Steve had his surgery Tuesday morning. It took a lot longer than we had expected, and it ended up being a lot more complex and invasive than we hoped. I've learned that para-esophageal hernias account for only about 3% of all hiatal hernias. Thanks to our wonderful surgeon though, Steve is expected to make a full recovery.

Apparently, there was a “massive” (the word the surgeon used) hole in the top of his stomach wall, next to his esophagus, and his stomach had bulged up into that hole, and twisted around itself. This had completely blocked his esophagus. His stomach was adhering to his heart and lungs, and it was pulling away from the blood vessels that connect it to the small bowel and intestines. The surgeon, once he saw the damage, could not do a laparoscopic repair and also could not wait for another day or two for the other surgeon to do the big surgery. He said we barely made it in time and that if Steve had waited any longer, his stomach would have “died” from blood loss.

The doctor moved Steve’s stomach back down where it belongs, detaching it from the heart and lungs. He then did what is called a Nissen fundiplication wrap, which sort of wrapped his stomach around the esophagus and anchored it there. Then he anchored the stomach’s back walls to the muscles that live behind the stomach. And, he closed up the big hole that didn’t belong.

I think, all things considered, that my husband is doing really well. He is still in the hospital, and I’m staying here with him. He got the last of his tubes out today and started on a liquid diet today. We may get to go home tomorrow or Monday; don’t know for sure yet. It will be so good to be home…for both of us. I’m going to need to become the “soft foods queen” for awhile and figure out what he can have that’s good and will go down easily. No bread, no meat … nothing that will bulk up in his stomach. He must not have any stress on that poor stomach while it’s healing.

It’s been a long week, but we are feeling very grateful for the blessings that have come to him this week, especially when we found out just how close it really was. God is good. I've also been thinking about people not so many years ago who had this problem ... I think they just died a slow and painful death and no one knew what had happened to them.

2008-10-25T20:47:00.006-05:00

Less than 12 hours to go...

2008-10-20T18:53:00.001-05:00

We saw the surgeon today, and we have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 6am. He is going to attempt to do a laparoscopic procedure to repair Steve’s para-esophageal hernia, but he won’t know for sure if he can do the repair laparoscopically, until he actually gets in there and has a good look. So if he can’t, we will have to wait on a different surgeon to do the major surgery, which will take another day or two, since he’s booked solid with heart surgeries tomorrow.

So, we are fervently hoping and praying for a successful laparoscopic procedure! We’re a little nervous, but also feel so relieved that it’s finally happening, and Steve is going to be on the road to recovery very, very soon. We believe all will be well.

Tomorrow is a big day

2008-10-19T18:58:00.002-05:00

Steve has an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow, finally. It can't come soon enough for either one of us. He's so weak and has lost probably 50 pounds since this all started in July. At this point, he's only able to hold down liquids, and not those all the time... He's on short-term disability from his job.

I'm going to ask the surgeon to admit him to the hospital, the sooner, the better. Steve needs surgery as soon as possible. I've prepared Steve that he may be going directly to the hospital, and I think he would be relieved (and I know I would) if that actually happened.

I'll post more when I can.

A realization

2008-10-19T08:23:00.005-05:00

I came to a realization yesterday. I have been avoiding blogging. In my mind I've told myself it's because Steve is so sick and I'm a lot busier around the house these days. Which is true. I've told myself I don't want my blog to be a "downer" -- that when people read it, I don't want them to come away feeling worse than they did before they read it. Which is true. I've told myself it hasn't even been about low carbing of late, and that's supposed to be the whole foundation for my blog in the first place. Which is true. It's all true...

But yesterday, out of the clear blue, the true reason why I have quit blogging came to me. I had decided - somewhere in the far back corner of my mind - that I wasn't going to blog again until I had some good news. Whether healthwise for Steve or weightwise for me ... just something truly positive to post. And there's the rub. Life is not always positive. I can almost always find something positive out of a situation, but here lately ... it's really been hard. I have felt truly beaten down.

Different people blog for different reasons. Some people want their blog to be educational and actually train people in various tasks. For example, Wayne has this blog, that has really helped me in some technical aspects of my blogging. And my best pal, Vikki, has such a user-friendly cooking blog, it makes even non-cooks want to give it a try.

Some people blog about politics, or their children, or their dog. Some blogs are about just whatever happens to occur on a particular day in a particular life. And they all have their place.

My blog seems to have been a little of all of the above, which is okay, too. But here lately it seems to have been about my health issues and my husband's health issues, which have been pretty negative. Why is that not okay to me? It's what my life has been consumed with. Good or bad, it's life right now. And I need to be able to blog about it, regardless of if it's negative or positive ... without fear of being thought of as a "negative person" or whatever other hooey I tell myself.

So, as of today, I'm back to blogging as often as I can. For the good or for the bad, whether it's an epic, or a couple sentences. I need to express myself, and so I'm going to!

At long last, a true diagnosis!

2008-10-10T22:03:00.004-05:00

We got a call from my sweet husband's doctor today. He had another x-ray done yesterday to check his small bowel. And it showed the true problem. He doesn't have just a hiatal hernia; he actually has a large para-esophageal hernia, which means that his stomach is bulging up into his chest cavity. This is a very rare problem, the doctor said, but it can be fixed.

So, we are looking at surgery in the next couple of weeks. The surgeon that our doctor says is "the best in Memphis" for this type of surgery is out of town until next Friday. So it will be the week after before we'll be able to see him.

We are so relieved to have an actual reason for all the nausea and weightloss. And I'm so grateful that it can - and will - be repaired.

Sunday night

2008-10-05T20:12:00.002-05:00

Wow, sorry I've been AWOL this week. I've been under the weather with some stomach issues and my husband is still sick. He has another appointment on Tuesday with the gastroenterologist, and we are hoping that he'll either change the medicine or up the dosage, because it is not working.

We did make it to church today, for the first time in over a month. It was good to see friends and get out, but he got sick as we were leaving church, so I guess it was too much for him.

We've been talking about our vacation, which is supposed to be coming up in a couple weeks. We may need to cancel it. Even a cabin in the mountains is no fun if you're sick, and it's just too far to drive if he's not well.

I've really let the blogging go to the wayside along with some other things and I'm sorry about that. But there'll be plenty of time to blog when life gets a little easier. So until then, I'll check in as I'm able and not stress about the rest.

Update on hubby

2008-09-29T20:16:00.002-05:00

Okay, so we got a call today from the new "super doc" gastroenterologist. Steve's test was positive for gastroparesis, which is when the stomach empties too slowly. He's also fighting some infection of unknown origin. The doc is calling in some medication for the gastroparesis, which concerns me because of the bad side effects that some people encounter. (Apparently, there's only one medicine FDA-approved for this condition, but it has some pretty hairy side effects.)

But I'm trying not to borrow trouble and to just give it a chance and see if the meds will work. I'm fighting some very low spirits and a darkness that seems to have descended in the past few days...

Thursday night ... I'm exhausted!

2008-09-25T21:29:00.002-05:00

It's been a rough week. My husband has been really sick and vomiting a lot this week. He missed work Monday, and I sent around an emergency email to everyone in my office asking for a referral to a good, proactive, diagnostic gastroenterologist. One of the partners at my law firm made a call for us (actually several) and got an appointment Thursday (today) with "the best GI doctor in Memphis."

Tuesday, Steve went to work, but he was nauseous all day. Tuesday night was a really bad night. Yesterday morning, he got up and tried to get ready for work, but just couldn't do it. So I put my foot down and said "enough." I called my office and told them I wouldn't be in. I then called the GI's office (nurse's voicemail) and begged them to work him in THAT day. Got a call back from the nurse awhile later and she said she'd talked to the doctor, and we should be there at 1:00.

So, I took him and he got a thorough evaluation. They're running more tests and he got a refill on a nausea med that had worked well for him before. He was still sick last night, but went to work today and I think he's feeling a "little better." I sure hope so. I think if he can get through the night tonight without getting sick, that will be a big, big improvement.

We like this doctor. He's a professor at University of TN College of Medicine as well as a practitioner. He asked great questions and actually listened to Steve's answers. He answered our questions. He told us what tests he wanted to do and why. And, best of all, he committed to us that we WILL figure this out. It's not an easily diagnosed problem; there's no "waving red flag," but he is thinking outside the box, and I believe we'll get answers and Steve will get to feeling better.

Selfishly, I have to say that I'm really tired. My husband is a wonderful partner in helping around the house. He does a lot -- wash after I've cooked, vacuum, dust, even clean the bathroom. But he just hasn't been up to it lately, and so I've been trying to do it all. And it's hard!

First Day of Autumn ... Welcome!

2008-09-22T20:10:00.003-05:00

Today is the first day of Autumn and I am so happy to see it arrive. It's been a long, hot summer in the Delta, and cooler temperatures are definitely welcome.

I love fall; it's my favorite time of the year. Even more so than New Year's, to me it's a time for fresh starts. The cool and sometimes foggy mornings are so invigorating. I love sweaters, and soft fleecy clothes. I love fires in the fireplace (wood burning, please). I love big pots of soup or stew simmering on the back of the stove. I love hot tea and hot chocolate, and sitting on the sofa under a throw, reading a good book. Most of all, I love the brilliant colors that the trees put on -- reds and golds, and every shade in between.

We're planning a trip to the mountains next month, and I hope the trees will be at peak fall color. I hope Steve is all better, and that we'll be able to spend the days walking and hiking, and our evenings snuggled in front of the fire. I hold that trip in front of me like a golden talisman ... it represents so much that I want for us: health, relaxation, and a peaceful respite from "the real world." Now if we can just get there!

Sunday night check in

2008-09-21T21:07:00.002-05:00

So...it hasn't been a great weekend. Steve is still really very nauseated and he just can't shake it. He's not eating enough to keep a bird going, and I truly don't know how he thinks he's going to work in the morning... He has a follow-up appointment with the doctor Wednesday morning; I wish it was tomorrow. I'm just beside myself with worry, and have been stress eating out the wazoo. God help us.

I need our life to get back to normal. I need my husband to feel better. I need to stop eating. I need for things to be okay...

Mom always said don't play ball in the house

2008-09-19T20:32:00.002-05:00

Okay, to set up tonight's story, I guess the first thing that needs to be said is my husband is truly a trivia buff. Music, classic TV, old movies ... he's really good at coming up with these obscure 70s (and older) references and remarks that, the minute you hear them, you're like, Oh yeah, I remember that!

The second thing that needs to be said is that Steve and I love to play with our dog, Chance, throwing his squeaky toy, then sort of wrestling it out of his mouth to throw it again.

So last night, Steve is throwing Chance's toy. It hits a little decorative lamp I have on top of a small bookcase, and without missing a beat, Steve says, "Mom always said don't play ball in the house."

I rolled! Okay, first, I checked the lamp (unbelievably, it didn't break), but then it hit me what he said, and I laughed so hard. I love being married to someone who can still make me laugh...

Kitty time...

2008-09-18T20:26:00.002-05:00

So...last night I was lying on the couch just sort of chilling out, and my cat Boots decided to join me. He gets on the back of the couch right over me, and sort of stretches his paw down and rests it on my shoulder. I snapped a picture and ... well, you get the picture.

He's becoming a very companionable kitty.

A new low carb snack

2008-09-17T19:29:00.003-05:00

So, I've discovered a wonderful snack that really helps me scratch that "salty / crunchy" itch. It's Planters Kettle Roasted Peanuts Extra Crunchy Classic Salt.

These are wonderful. Very crunchy, very satisfying. The ingredients are: peanuts, peanut oil, and salt. A serving of these (about an ounce) has 3 net carbs. I buy these at WalMart. Here's a link to show what they look like:

Planters Info

Anyway, if you're looking for a salty, very crunchy treat, give these a try!

Please excuse me while I rant

2008-09-16T18:55:00.002-05:00

Gas prices have shown a marked increase since Ike. Here in Memphis they range anywhere from $3.51 to $4.09, depending on the part of town and the station. Two weeks ago they were in the $3.35 range. I fail to see how this is anything besides "price gouging" and taking advantage of a scary weather occurrence. I've seen no documented damage of any oil refineries in the Gulf. And, today I read where crude oil has dropped to under $96 a barrel.

So, where do "they" get off jacking up the price of a gallon of gas? I'm sick of it and I'm taking the only action I feel like I can. I'm contacting the State of Tennessee Consumer Affairs office (1-800-342-8385 or www.tn.gov/consumer). I'm going to give them the name and address of the Mapco Express I passed this morning that is charging $4.09 a gallon. Puts a whole new spin on the term "highway robbery."

2008-09-13T14:52:00.002-05:00

I got "tagged"!

2008-09-12T18:28:00.002-05:00

So, my cyber friend Gary (aka "Old Dude") tagged me! I wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but a quick trip to his blog clued me in. Thanks, Gary!

Tag, You're It Meme

1. Where was I 10 years ago?

Let's see ... ten years ago I was living in an apartment by myself, dating Steve, and working for a non-profit international adoption agency.

2. What was on my to-do list today?

First, had to get gas on the way to work. Had some work piled on my desk to get through today, but got waylaid by computer issues. Our IT guy spent half the day at my desk. I was having problems with Word, Outlook, ProLaw (our data management system), and Data Lariat (a "bridge" program that works in conjunction with ProLaw and Office programs). He tried a bunch of fixes and finally ended up uninstalling and reinstalling MS Office. Sheesh! Had to take a box to the UPS store at lunch time (a pair of shoes I'd ordered from Zappos.com that didn't fit). Steve and I were supposed to have dinner with friends tonight at one of our favorite restaurants (it's his best friend's birthday), but Steve called me about 4:00 and said he just didn't feel like going -- his stomach is still messed up (an ongoing issue). So, the evening is free, and I'm glad! Although I sure wish my sweet husband felt better.

3. What would I do if I were a billionaire?

Hmmmm. This reminds me of the old Steve Martin (Saturday Night Live) Christmas sketch where he's sitting in a wingback chair in front of the fireplace. I googled it to get it word for word, and here it is:

"If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas."

That cracks me up! Okay, but I digress. Let's see, I would travel, travel, travel! I would take care of my family and Steve's family. I would support literacy and some mission projects. It's pretty much a moot question, anyway!

4. Five places I've lived

North Manchester, Indiana
Jackson, Mississippi
Dayton, Ohio
El Sobrante, California
Tupelo, Mississippi

5. Bad Habits

Lord a'mercy, where do I start? Let's see ...

Emotional eating (it's a hobby of mine)
A bad temper behind the wheel (potty mouth while driving, big time!)
Impatience with slow store clerks
Laziness (I am loath to admit this, but it is true!)
People pleasing (this is better than it used to be)
Complaining about things that I have no power over
A tendency to see the glass as half empty
Self-sabotaging behavior

I could go on and on, but enough, already!!

And now it's my turn to pass on the fun. So...Vikki, Chai, Niki, Roger, and Suzi -- TAG, you're it!

What's up with this?

2008-09-11T20:16:00.006-05:00

Did you see the news item about Us Weekly? Apparently, they offended a lot of their subscribers with their inflammatory caption on the "Sarah Palin issue."

Ya think?

So, in response to what has apparently been an overwhelming number of subscribers saying, "Cancel my subscription," they are offering subscribers five free issues if they will reconsider and keep their subscription.

Compare the Palin cover with the Obama cover. Nah, there's no media bias in this election ... none at all.

I've never written a "political" blog post before ... but I feel very passionate about this election, and Sarah Palin is the reason -- pure and simple.

I can relate to Sarah Palin. Not the Governor of Alaska, but the mom of five kids, a Christian who is pro-life and not ashamed to be, a woman with values and pride in our country and an appreciation of the absolute privilege we have to live in a country that's free. A woman who wants to "drill now" -- not with reckless abandon, but with an eye toward the future that this is necessary and just a part of the ultimate solution. A strong, independent, capable, intelligent woman with morals and principles. I believe in Sarah Palin. And, I hope -- I dearly hope -- that she is our next Vice President.

To weigh or not to weigh ... that is the question

2008-09-09T20:49:00.002-05:00

So, I've been eating low carb for 15 months now. I've lost about 62 pounds and want to lose maybe another 25-30. I've definitely had my "ups and downs" in this way of eating. I started with the Atkins Induction plan and stayed on that for several months. But as time went on, I have given myself a bigger daily allowance of carbs. I've had good times -- times when it was effortless to eat this way. I was "in the zone" and cruising right along.

Then, on the flip side, there have been times when it's been hard -- very hard -- for me to maintain this way of eating. Unfortunately for me, I have always been and continue to be a stress eater. And unfortunately, there's been a lot of stress in our lives lately. Plus, it's always been my "hobby" (how sick is that?) ... I guess I've always been a recreational eater. Food scratches practically any itch. But, that's a different post for a different day.

As time has gone by and I've become more comfortable in this way of eating / way of life, my focus has shifted away from the scale and more to my long-term health. I have to be very careful not to get obsessed with the scale. I can start a day feeling good in what I'm doing, feeling like I'm making healthy choices for myself, feeling like, wow - I've lost weight - I can just tell! ... then step on the scale and in a heartbeat -- simply because the number didn't budge, or even (God forbid!) went up a few pounds -- go to feeling like a complete and utter failure.

This feeling is exacerbated when I go on these weighing binges. I mean, WHY in the world would a sane person step on a scale three times in a day? What possible result could you expect?? And yet, there it is. Sometimes.

I'm one of those women whose weight fluctuates 5 pounds, easily. Five pounds up or down is sort of "business as usual" on my scale. I know this, yet it still gets to me.

So, I've decided I need to stop weighing for awhile. I need to sharpen my focus on health. I can listen to my body -- I can pay attention to how my clothes feel -- and I can use those feelings and indicators as a guideline of how I'm doing. I don't have to let a number have so much power over my emotions and wellness.

An ideal goal would be to weigh once a month. Or maybe once every two weeks... But there's the rub ... how do I do that? So for now, I'm going to put the scale away. We'll see how long it lasts. But it feels right. For now.

Just another big Saturday night ...

2008-09-06T21:17:00.003-05:00

Steve and I had a really nice evening. I made dinner and we ate it on bed trays on our bed while we watched one of our "All Creatures Great and Small" episodes. We're now on Season 2, and I enjoy them so much. They make me want to see Yorkshire -- it's so beautiful. I'm so glad Steve introduced me to those videos. Just hearing the theme music makes me happy... It was a good BBC television show back in the 70s, and I totally missed it. So I'm really glad to be able to see them now.

Anyway, we've had a nice, quiet evening ... just about my favorite thing.

On another note, I finished my latest audio book today, The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. What a great book! It's one of those books that when you put it down, you find yourself thinking about it. It's compelling, and funny, and tragic, and triumphant ... a really great read.

If you haven't read it, it's the fictional story of a fiery evangelical Baptist preacher who takes his wife and four daughters into The Congo in the early 1960s. They were woefully unprepared and he was insanely stubborn, refusing to leave even while the people of their small village tried to "vote him out" and while political turmoil and uprising is all around them. A horrible death occurs, which changes everything overnight.

The story is told from the perspectives of the wife, Orleanna, and each of the four daughters: Leah, Adah, Rachel, and Ruth May. I love the way this author gave a voice to each of them -- and such a distinctive voice for each. It was like looking at something that happened from five different views -- really fascinating.

Anyway, I highly recommend this book as a very compelling, can't-put-it-down story.

How's your self talk?

2008-09-04T20:20:00.002-05:00

You know, what we tell ourselves is so important. There's a saying that "perception is reality," and I have found that to be so true. My perception of myself becomes my reality.

Too many times in the past I've beaten myself up with words .... I've verbally bruised and battered myself and said things to me and about me that I would not say to my worst enemy. I've found this to be especially true in my eating and what I have said to myself about my eating. If I -- as humans are apt to do -- "stray" and eat something that is "forbidden" to me, it's a struggle to keep from saying, "Jeez, Patty, what is wrong with you? Why can you not get and keep control??" and worse ... much worse.

I think that many times, we are harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else. I'll never forget the time many years ago that I was going off about something stupid I had done, and a dear friend stopped me in my tracks and said, "Wait. What would you say to me if I had done that?" I immediately re-framed my thoughts (it was automatic -- I didn't have to even think about it). I started giving her kind affirmations that "a mistake does not define you" ... that "you are a wonderful, giving, awesome person, and you have so much worth and value" ... and on and on. And I meant it; it wasn't just words. She stopped me again and asked me how it was that I could be so generous with her and so stingy and hateful to myself. Whoa ... that was the first time I'd thought of it like that.

So now, I try very hard to be a friend to myself. To be forgiving and loving and willing to say, "You know what, Patty? It's okay. You're human." To say the sort of things to myself that I would say to a friend.

Tuesday evening check-in

2008-09-02T19:07:00.005-05:00

It's been a good day. I had the day off, the reason being that I need a day to recuperate from my trip and sort of get back into the groove for the week. So, I did some laundry, went to the grocery store, made stuff for our lunches the rest of the week (egg salad, tuna salad, and a big green salad), made dinner (baked chicken and a broccoli/cheese casserole), AND had time for a nap this afternoon. It felt so luxurious ... sleeping during the day!

I only checked my work email twice, which was good!

I found some good deals at the grocery store (can you believe?), getting a "family pack" of 10 pork chops for $5.99, and some savoy steaks for a really good price as well. They had frozen veggies 10 for $10, so I stocked up on those, too. My freezer is pretty well stocked, yay!

I enjoyed cooking dinner, because Steve is feeling so much better and he's eating again. So I'm happy to get back into that habit.

My sweet husband had cleaned house this weekend, so I came home to a nice, clean house. He's so great with that -- he'll vacuum, dust, even clean the bathroom if he has to!

Boots and Chance were happy to have me home. Boots loves getting brushed, and he missed it while I was gone. Here's a picture I just took of him, sitting on the arm of my recliner -- one of his favorite spots.

Behind him is his other favorite spot -- his "perch" at the window. During the day we raise the blinds and let him keep an eye on the front yard.

All in all, as Dorothy so appropriately said, "There's no place like home."

Back home and so glad to be....

2008-09-01T13:20:00.002-05:00

I'm back, and none too soon. I've become such a homebody ... I'm always so happy to be heading home.

Well, my trip had some good and bad. I had a nice visit with my sister, and a couple of good visits with my mom. There was a pretty bad episode, but I chalked it up to basically a sort of sensory overload for her. We had already been out for lunch that day and done pretty well, so I think I was pushing it to attempt to get her out twice in one day. I learned from that and didn't try it again. Anyway, I think she enjoyed my visit for the most part, and I'm glad I went.

But I'm super glad to be home.

More later...

Heading out of town, and dreading it

2008-08-27T19:44:00.002-05:00

I'm going to see my mom and sister this weekend. A bit of background: my mom is in a nursing home. She has pretty severe dementia and is unable to care for herself. My sister lives in the same town in southern Arkansas, and bears the brunt of responsibility as far as overseeing mom's care. I feel guilty that I'm not close enough to share the duties, and -- to be brutally honest -- I feel relieved that I'm not close enough to share the duties. It's been too long since I've gone for a visit, and so I've made the commitment that I'll go this weekend.

Mom has deteriorated mentally by leaps and bounds within the last year. It's shocking, really. The good thing is, she almost always recognizes me when I call. She still knows who I am and knows my voice. But the bad thing is, she tends to get very agitated and combative. She will say horrible, hateful things. I know it's the disease talking, but the words are still coming out of my mother's mouth. So it's hard. She's basically become a completely different person than I knew as my mom.

My hope is that she has a good day or two while I'm there. I'm trying to have very realistic expectations that it may be rough, while still hoping for the best. Mostly, I'm going to support my sister and tell her again how much I appreciate what she does.

But, I'm worried about leaving Steve. We still don't have an answer as to what is causing his nausea and pain, and I don't like leaving him under these circumstances.

I'll be leaving directly from work Friday afternoon and driving down that night. I'll return on Monday. Chances are, I'll be offline that entire time. I haven't decided if I'll take my laptop, but I think not, since my sister doesn't have DSL or cable internet, and I am hopelessly spoiled.

So....I'll try to post tomorrow night if I have time, but if not, it will be Monday before I can again. In the meantime, I hope everyone has a good weekend and a good Labor Day.

Back on track

2008-08-25T18:29:00.003-05:00

So...my eating has not been good for the past week or two. I have allowed stress to dictate my days and as a result, have been making lousy food choices and I am feeling the effects. My anemia issues continue to be a factor, and I have struggled to be able to both take the iron supplements I need and be able to "go".

Yesterday I made the decision that, even though stress is still a major factor, I had to get a grip. I had to get and maintain control over the parts of my life that I can control. As of yesterday, I have gone back to the basics of low carb eating -- plenty of fiber, protein, non-starchy vegetables -- and I know this will result in my feeling better.

As my new cyber-pal Gary (aka "Old Dude") reminded me, if I don't take care of myself, I won't be in a position to really take care of Steve. I needed that reminder, Gary, so thanks for that.

Today's food:

2 cups coffee with Sugar Free Coffee Mate and Sweetzfree

3 deviled egg halves

large spinach salad with smoked turkey, cucumber, bell pepper, tomato, shredded carrots, and Ranch dressing

1 oz. Colby/Jack cheese with 1/4 cup sunflower seeds

roasted chicken, green beans almandine, and turnip greens

For later, if I need a snack, I'll have sugar free Jello

I'm trying to get my water in -- I gotta say, this is hard for me. I can drink iced tea until the cows come home, but I just struggle to drink all the water.

Update on Steve:

He had his ultrasound this morning. He asked, but the tech refused to comment - said the results would go to the doctor to "read" the test, then will be sent to Steve's gastroenterologist. Said it should take "a couple days." If we have not heard anything by Wednesday afternoon, I'll call his doctor's office to inquire. I don't have a wealth of confidence in him at the moment...

After his ultrasound, Steve said he felt hungry, so he stopped by the hospital cafeteria and got a hot breakfast (scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and a biscuit). He said he ate a fair amount of that. That's very encouraging, because I don't remember the last time he said he was hungry. At lunchtime he wasn't hungry, so I don't think he ate much more than a couple bites. And for dinner tonight, he ate a little. Which is fine -- I'm fine with him eating a little.....just as long as he's able to eat something. He's definitely feeling better -- he's been joking and talking tonight -- much more like the Steve I know and love.

So, I think the medicine that the doctor called in for him is helping. It may be just putting a temporary Band-Aid on the problem, but at this point, we will take that. He needs a respite from the incessant nausea, and I hope he continues to get that. In the meantime, I hope the ultrasound shows something and that we can take definite steps to fix whatever it is. We just want answers at this point.

Finally, to those select few who read my blog -- thank you for the kind words, the good thoughts, the continued visits to read my feeble words and ramblings. It's sort of cathartic and therapeutic to be able to express what's going on and how I'm feeling about it.

Check out my new banner!

2008-08-24T11:13:00.002-05:00

My best buddy Vikki created a banner for my blog. I love it! She is such a creative person on so many levels. Just a glimpse at her blog shows her creativity in the kitchen with all things culinary. But beyond that, she was a teacher for many years and loved doing fun and educational projects with her kiddos. Just hearing her talk about those days and some of her experiences makes me wish I'd had a teacher like that. I always say if I had a child I would want them to have a teacher like Vikki.

Anyway, thanks, Vikki, for the banner; it's great.

A case of the blahs...

2008-08-23T10:19:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling pretty "bleah" the past few days. My sweet husband is not feeling any better. We should buy stock in Pepto Bismal... I called his doctor yesterday (demanded to speak to him, more like) and basically "cleaned his plow" as we so charmingly say here in the south. I'd had it. We'd been waiting four days for him to call, Steve had called more than once and spoken with his nurse, who had promised she would give the doctor the message and have him return the call.

So anyway, I expressed my concern over the quality of his "care" and pretty much just gave him a piece of my mind (like I had one to spare...) for, oh, a good 10 minutes, give or take. (Need I say, this had been building up inside me?) He gave some half-assed excuse that he did call one day, but didn't leave a message due to HIPAA regulations. To which I replied, let's just go on the record and say, PLEASE feel free to leave a message on Steve's cell phone or our home phone (DUH). Funny that a strange number didn't show up on our caller ID for either phone that day...

Anyway, after speaking with me, he hung up and immediately called Steve. Bottom line is, he called in some new meds for the weekend and Steve now has an appointment Monday morning at 8:15 for an ultrasound. They're going to look at his gallbladder. Hmm.......wasn't that one of the first things we asked about?

Anyway, with Steve not eating and me feeling like I'm living inside a pressure cooker these days, my eating has just gone to hell in a handbasket. I've eaten things this week that have not passed these lips in well over a year... During a very long, drawn-out, intense full day of meetings on Wednesday, I got the shakes about mid-afternoon. It wasn't appropriate for me to leave the room, so I got up and got a Sprite (real, mind you -- not Diet), popped it open and drank it. The shakes went away, and I felt better within 10 minutes. I know that was a low blood sugar issue, but the reason for it in the first place was the junk I'd put into my system earlier that day. Carbage makes me sick...

Oh, and on the "iron supplementation" front ....... when they tell you that liquid iron does not constipate you ....... they lie. I am in a vicious cycle that I won't elaborate on (you're welcome), but let's just say it's not pretty and leave it at that. I'm very frustrated and ill over it. It's basically come down to.....do I want to have some energy, or do I want to have a bowel movement? Pick one.

Okay....Saturday morning bitchfest is now officially over. Have a nice day, and I'll try to do the same.

A new "chapter" on "Books I'm Reading, Books I Love"

2008-08-21T04:02:00.003-05:00

I downloaded an e-book from our public library the other day. I have enjoyed it soooooo much. I've been putting it on CDs and listening to it each day on my commute. It's called Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns, and it's about a scandal that takes place in the little town of Cold Sassy, Georgia back in the early 1900s. The book is written from the point of view of Will Tweedy, a 14 year old boy, whose grandmother had passed away a couple weeks earlier, and his grandfather has shocked the town by marring a woman half his age (with his wife not yet "cold in the grave"!!) It's so funny and full of real-life-small-town drama, and I am enjoying it so very much. It makes me laugh out loud, which is so nice when you're driving in bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic! The man who is reading the book has a great voice - very expressive and just perfect for the characters in the book.

Back in the day (I was younger and more energetic and working nights with time to kill during the days) I volunteered at a radio station for the blind and visually impaired. Volunteers read the daily newspaper, current magazines, current novels and classics...you name it, and the station also provided various music formats as well. I was on the 10am to noon "shift" two days a week, and a team of three of us read The Commercial Appeal (our daily newspaper). I really enjoyed doing that, and would like to do it again sometime. Anyway, I always thought that would be a pretty good job -- reading books for a living. Wonder how one goes about getting a gig like that......? :-)

I just finished a couple Belva Plain books. I've read most all of hers, but there were two on my shelf that I'd not read yet: Secrets and Random Winds. Her books seem to always be such sagas, spanning generations, and the characters seem to be so real, flaws and all. By the time you finish, you feel like you're intimately familiar with the family and their lives. She's a great writer.

I'm in the middle of the latest John Grisham book, The Appeal, and I'm enjoying it a lot. I love Grisham's legal thrillers. I haven't been as enthusiastic about his other books, like A Painted House. I think he should stick to the legal genre, because he does it so well.

As always, there are bunches of books "in the wings," just waiting to be read. I've got one called These Is My Words: The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine, 1881 - 1901. It looks really good, and I already have the sequel to it, Sarah's Quilt. So, I think they'll be next on my list.

Haven't been sleeping well. I guess just too much on my mind. But maybe I'll try to get back to bed and catch another hour or two before I have to get up and "hit the day running".......

A new look

2008-08-19T20:23:00.005-05:00

So....I got a suggestion from a fellow blogger and one of my readers, Gary (aka "Old Dude") about changing the colors in my blog. I gotta say, choosing colors is not a strength of mine. The fact is, I'm color blind. It's rare in a woman, but there you go... I didn't know I was color blind until I was in my mid-20s and applying for an air traffic controller job. It actually disqualified me (which I believe was a blessing in disguise). But I digress...

I think I don't see color in the same way as other people. I mean, I see red, green, blue, yellow -- but I think I don't see the subtleties of shading that most others do. The main result of this is that I usually make very "safe" choices -- like with my blog, I simply chose a template and stuck with those colors and didn't give it much thought... Until Gary questioned me, "why green?" Hmmm. Why not?

So, I've made some changes. I don't know if they "work" or not, but I think they look pretty good. Comments are welcome - you won't hurt my feelings. Well, hopefully not, anyway.

Tuesday morning...dashing out the door

2008-08-19T07:49:00.003-05:00

I've just got a minute before I have to leave for work. But I wanted to let you guys know that Steve got a call yesterday from his doctor's office. The biopsy on the polyps they removed from his colon was negative! (Thank YOU!)

Unfortunately, he has not been feeling well since Saturday night and has eaten very little since that time. The doctor is supposed to call him today, and he's going to update the doc on how he's feeling and try to get some help. He's taking the med they prescribed for the hiatal hernia, but it doesn't seem to be doing much of anything. Basically, he's living on Pepto Bismal and the occasional (twice a day) small bowl of cereal...he can't keep that up indefinitely.

I got my liquid iron yesterday (wow...that was fast!) and I'm going to take at least double, perhaps even triple doses until my follow-up doc appointment next month. It actually doesn't taste bad. Or maybe I'm just used to drinking gross stuff.... It's sort of cinnamon-y ... kind of like drinking a cinnamon TicTac. Not bad at all.

Gotta run.

My test results

2008-08-16T12:34:00.002-05:00

So, I saw the doctor a couple weeks ago and at that time, they took 8 vials of blood to run a bunch of tests. I finally got my test results in the mail this week. Apparently, the doctor had been on vacation for several days, and the results had to sit on his desk until he got back before they were sent on to me.

Anyway, the good news is that the vast majority of my tests (4 pages' worth) were normal. Thyroid tests, glucose, liver, coronary risk, calcium level, and a bunch more tests were great. My total cholesterol was 171, HDL was 52, LDL was 96, and triglycerides were 117. Blood pressure was 120/74, which is where it usually is. I credit low carb eating for these good scores.

The problem, as always, is this stinking pernicious anemia. Because I had 4 (weekly) B12 shots in the month of June, and two in July, my B12 levels were okay. But my iron was bottomed out...no big surprise, unfortunately. I've had chronic anemia for many, many years, and test results fluctuate from the bottom of normal to way, way under. Unfortunately, it's way, way under right now. I just don't absorb vitamins and nutrients like I'm supposed to.

My actual iron level was 36. It should be in the 50-170 range. The % saturation was 7%, and normal is 20-50%. Ferritin was at 3, and it's supposed to be anywhere from 10-291.

This is in spite of a daily OTC ferrous sulfate tablet. The doctor's suggestion is to up that to 2 Ferrosequals per day. I have a problem with that, though... If I'm not absorbing the iron from one tablet, why would I absorb it any better from two? Plus there's the whole constipation effect. I'll never be able to go if I'm taking that much iron!

So, I have ordered a liquid iron supplement from NaturalGreens.com. It also has B12 and folate in it, which will be good. I've been reading about it, and apparently "normal absorption" of iron tablets is only about 20%, leaving 80% to be eliminated through the body, which causes the constipation. Since I'm not even getting the normal absorption, I don't think the pills are the way to go. Liquid iron, because it doesn't have to be dissolved, has something like a 95-98% absorption rate. And as an added bonus, it supposedly does not cause the same level of constipation that the pills do. Definitely worth a shot...

I figure, what the heck.......I'm already downing liquid glucosamine / chondroitan / MSM and liquid cod liver oil, so what's one more disgusting concoction to get down each day? A small price to pay if I can get my energy levels up and keep them up where they should be...

So that's the plan. Long as I have a plan, I feel better...

Friday night.....yes!

2008-08-15T20:27:00.002-05:00

I love Friday nights. The weekend stretches out before you like a winding road, with passages to the right and to the left. Do I want to sleep in, or get up early and hit a few garage sales? Do I want to clean house in the morning and cook in the afternoon, or lie on the couch and read my book I'm totally engrossed in? Do I want to cook dinner and serve it on trays in the bedroom and watch a movie, or go out to eat?

Of course, that whole paragraph is sort of the "perfect world" scenario. Rarely do I have a weekend that stretches out so leisurely and is as full of choices as that. Very rarely. Usually, it's full of things I've GOT to do, because I just flat out did not get them done during the week...

Having said that, this weekend is not totally jam packed, praise be. I'd like to run a couple errands, but it won't be a catastrophe if I don't. I'd like to clean house, but life as we know it won't end if I don't scrub my toilet tomorrow.

The one thing that we are committed to is dinner tomorrow night. Steve and I are "small group leaders" in our Sunday School class. We have a large class, and it's a good way to allow folks sort of get to know each other in a smaller, more relaxed atmosphere. Anyway, we're meeting our group tomorrow night at "On The Border" Mexican Restaurant. I'm looking forward to a fun evening and some fajitas! :-)

In the still of the night

2008-08-13T05:30:00.002-05:00

My sweet husband was sick in the night. It woke me up, and now I guess I am up for the duration. He's back in bed and, I fervently hope, sleeping.

He'll be home today, prepping for the Thursday's colonoscopy. I'll be at work, worrying.

I've been doing so much better, I thought, at not letting my thoughts run away with me about what could possibly be going on with Steve and his stomach issues. But in "the still of the night," it's hard to keep my thoughts corralled.

Please, please......let all be well.

Pan-Fried Catfish

2008-08-10T16:24:00.003-05:00

Today has been a domestic sort of a day. This morning, I put on a pot of pinto beans with salt pork in the slow cooker. Yummy. Then, I dusted, Windex'ed, and polished all the furniture, mirrors, and other surfaces in the house. (Just call me Holly Homemaker!)

Then, this afternoon, I sauteed thinly sliced cabbage and onion in EVOO with plenty of cracked black pepper. Then, I made my pan-fried catfish. It's super easy.

4 boneless fish fillets (I've used catfish and tilapia - both are great)
2 eggs
1 c. grated Parmesan cheese (the kind in the green canister)
1 T. Old Bay seasoning

Rinse fillets and pat dry. Beat eggs in a shallow dish (I use a large paper plate). In a different shallow dish or plate, mix cheese and seasoning. Dip fish into egg, then into cheese, pressing the cheese on well.

Prepare a nonstick skillet with a few tablespoons oil and preheat on medium heat. Lay the fillets in, but don't crowd them. I fry two at a time. Cook for 4-5 minutes on one side, then turn. (Time depends on how thick the fillets are.) Try to only turn once. Fry until cooked through and golden brown.

This is a really good, easy way to fix catfish. I like to serve it with lemon wedges for a last-minute splash of flavor.

The power of words

2008-08-07T20:22:00.003-05:00

My name is Patty, and I have a confession to make......I am a sucker for a well-turned phrase.

I love good slogans and mottos and cliche-ey statements. I just can't help it. At any given time I have a few plastered on my monitor or on the wall behind my desk. For example, I have three of them posted in my office right now:

1. "He who angers you, controls you."

Isn't that an awesome statement? It's so true. I've been dealing with anger issues lately, even with drivers who cut me off on the interstate. (I think it's hormonal.) But I've been really trying to consciously remember that statement, and unclench my teeth, and say, "You don't know me and I don't you, and you are NOT going to control me." It works!

2. "Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous."

I love that. It helps me remember to look for the little happy daily occurrences in my life, and just say, "Thank you."

3. "You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I actually blogged about this one last month (July 10th) and the impact it made when I read it.

Here's one more, for the road:

4. "The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."

Ain't it the truth?? :-)

A quick update

2008-08-07T18:16:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been a crazy couple of days. First of all, my sweet husband had his appointment at the gastroenterologist. He couldn't pinpoint a cause for his symptoms, so they have scheduled him for a colonoscopy next week. I just hope it sheds some light on what is going on, and that there is a simple solution.

Yesterday was a bad day... I woke up in the middle of Tuesday night -- about 2:30 or so -- and it was sweltering hot in our house. I checked the thermostat and it was 84 degrees! The AC fan was running, but it was blowing warm air. So at 7:00 a.m. I called an AC guy (actually two AC guys). The first one that called me back got the job. By the time he got it fixed (around noon) it was close to 90. Ugh!

He replaced the capacitor and 5 pounds of Freon. I think it's fixed, but it took forever to cool the house down. The humidity had seeped into the walls, the carpet, and even the furniture. When I went to bed last night at about 11:00 it was still 80 degrees. But in the night the house finally got cooled down and we woke up this morning to a nice, cool house.

Today has been rainy and a lot cooler, thank goodness. The heat wave was about to kill me! And we needed the rain so, so much.

I'm worried.......

2008-08-05T22:33:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I posted a couple weeks ago about our scary trip to the ER. Steve was diagnosed with a large hiatal hernia and sent home with meds for pain, nausea, and acid reflux.

The trouble is, he doesn't have acid reflux. He hardly ever gets heartburn. But the nausea and pain has continued, off and on, in varying degrees. He's missed a couple days of work since the ER episode....which is so not normal for Steve. He has an impeccable work ethic and just does not miss work.

He had seen a Nurse Practitioner at our GP's office a couple days after the visit to the ER, just for follow-up, and he basically just confirmed that yes, the pain could have been (and probably was) from the hiatal hernia. He also said that it was possible Steve had and passed a kidney stone. Nothing definitive and nothing terribly helpful. Since then, we have wondered if perhaps something else is going on and perhaps the pain and nausea is from another cause...

Yesterday he got sick at lunchtime and stayed the rest of the day at work. He had only eaten a few bites of his lunch. He did not eat dinner. He did eat a few crackers about 9:00 last night, before he went to bed. He spent a bad night and called in today - very nauseated.

So, he called the doctor's office this morning to try to get in today to see someone -- anyone. His appointment was at 11:00 and the NP that he saw basically took one look at him and made an appointment for tomorrow morning at 8:00 with a gastroenterologist. His blood pressure was very low. He's gone back and forth today between the nausea, feeling better, and pain.

I hope and pray the doctor will be able to find the problem tomorrow and that it will be something we can easily fix. (I guess that's always everyone's hope and prayer that goes through something like this, isn't it?) But in the meantime, I gotta say......I'm worried.

Summer tomato salad

2008-08-03T12:19:00.002-05:00

It's the middle of summer, and red ripe tomatoes are in abundance. I'm fortunate this year in that there are a couple people in our office whose parents grow more than they can eat, so every week or so, there will be bags or boxes of home-grown tomatoes free for the taking.

There's a recipe that I've made for years, and people always request it when there's a family get-together, so I thought I would share it here.

Summer Tomato Salad

6-8 red, ripe tomatoes (depends on their size and how much you want to make)
Wishbone Italian Dressing
2-3 green onions, thinly sliced on the diagonal
8 oz. Feta cheese, crumbled
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
1 small can sliced black olives, drained
Garlic salt
Fresh parsley, chopped

Peel and cut tomatoes in wedges, draining away the juice. (The juice can be reserved for something else - homemade soup, spaghetti sauce, whatever.) Put the tomato wedges into a large bowl (with a cover), and add the green onions, crumbled Feta, red onion, olives, garlic salt to taste, and parsley. Add the Italian dressing, cover, and refrigerate.

This tastes better if you can make it at least 4-5 hours before serving, and it's even better the second day, after the flavors have had plenty of time to meld together. It's a wonderful addition to any summer meal.

Enjoy!

My doctor's appointment

2008-07-31T19:31:00.003-05:00

I saw my doctor today. Can I just say that I love my doctor? He is so wonderful. He's an older man; he could have retired by now, but I'm so glad he hasn't. In my opinion, he can truly be called a "healer." He always seems to be current with research on a wide variety of health issues, and he takes a very pro-active stance in health care.

Anyway, he asked me so many questions (and actually listened to my answers). He agreed to run all the blood tests I requested, plus several more that he thought were appropriate (the nurse took 8 vials of blood!) and he explained what he thinks might be some of the problems I'm facing.

He didn't sugar-coat anything....just told me what he thinks we're looking at, which is exactly what I want. I should get test results in maybe a week, so we may know more then.

He gave me a few prescriptions and told me to come back in a month for a follow-up visit, so that we can evaluate how those are working and if we need to change anything. So, unless the blood tests show something that he's not expecting, I'll see him again in a month.

I'll blog more about this when I know more, but this is today's update.

Today

2008-07-29T19:44:00.002-05:00

I am not tolerating the heat very well these days. The temp today was 101 and the humidity was incredible. Why in the world do we live here?

So...today's food was:

1 cup of Hood milk - chocolate and white, mixed

2 cups of coffee with sugar free Coffee Mate and Sweetzfree

3 deviled eggs halves

2 Hebrew National all-beef hotdogs (no bread) with mustard and 1-carb ketchup

Spinach salad with ranch dressing

3 celery sticks (3 inches long) with Sun Butter

Chicken-veggie stir fry with 2 tomato slices and 2 small pieces of cantaloupe

And that's it. Pretty good day today, food-wise.

Counting my blessings

2008-07-26T18:57:00.004-05:00

Today, Steve and I spent some time with an old friend. He and Steve knew each other for years before we met, and since the time Steve and I started dating, he has become my friend as well. He's a very intelligent and interesting guy with a professional career. He's kind, funny, witty, and just a very special man.

He also has cancer.

He's been fighting it now for some time, and his attitude remains really, really good. His faith is strong and he's not discouraged. At least, not that I can tell. One thing that struck me is how many times he talked about being thankful for this or that. Thankful...

There's an old song I remember singing at church when I was growing up, called "Count Your Blessings." Part of it says,

Count your blessings, name them one by one
Count your many blessings, see what God has done

I have to confess, too many times I don't count my blessings. Too many times I find myself worrying over one thing or another. I hear my voice complaining about something (many times it's something I have no control over and can't change anyway...like the hot weather!) I find myself looking at what we don't have instead of all we do have.

Gratitude is a funny thing. It is contagious. I like being around positive, grateful people because it rubs off on me. I want to be a positive, grateful person that "rubs off" on others.

So tonight I'm counting my blessings. And there's a whole lot to count.

Progress, not perfection

2008-07-23T20:52:00.004-05:00

I read a cute saying today. Don't know who said it, so I can't credit the originator:

"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends."

I love that. It is, unfortunately, all too true. At the low carb forum where I hang out, there's been a discussion today about losing weight for a second (or more) time, and losing weight as an older person as opposed to a younger person. I have to say, this weightloss journey I have been on for the past year has been a slower, rockier trip than I enjoyed in my younger days...

However, it has also been a calmer, more focused, less frenetic journey. I feel very blessed to have found the low carb way of life and to have made the decision to live the rest of my life this way. That just makes things so much easier. I don't have to wonder how I'm going to eat tomorrow or next week or next year. I don't have to obsessively read the newest magazine article that promises I'll lose 20 pounds in 30 days. Best of all, I don't have to live with regret that food controls me. That is such a feeling of freedom and peace.

Even on days when I "veer from the road" (okay, am I taking the "journey" metaphor too far?), I don't panic. It doesn't mean I've failed; it doesn't mean I can't continue eating low carb; it just means I allowed myself to indulge in a food that is out of the ordinary. What a great feeling! I am not perfect, never will be, but as I always say, the goal is progress, not perfection.

Favorite songs...

2008-07-21T20:27:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm going to date myself, probably, but can I just say that my favorite song in the whole world is "Love Shack" by the B-52s? That song just makes me happy. I've got it as a ringtone on my phone. I also have "Isn't She Lovely?" by Stevie Wonder and "Sweet Home Alabama" by Leonard Skynard as ringtones. Good songs, all of them.

Some other of my all-time favorites are:

Ob-la-de Ob-la-da (Beatles)
Up on the Roof (James Taylor) -- really, practically every JT song could be on this list
From a Distance (Bette Midler) -- I adore her voice
Ride Like the Wind (Christopher Cross) -- this takes me back to college days
Morning Train (Sheena Easton)
Rainy Day People (Gordon Lightfoot)
Get Here (Oleta Adams)
Sweet Love (Anita Baker) -- okay, pretty much anything Anita Baker sings
This is Me You're Talking To (Trisha Yearwood) -- I LOVE her voice
Peaceful Easy Feelin' (Eagles) -- I flash back to high school days
If This is It (Huey Lewis and the News) -- okay, I admit it...I went through this period of time where I was absolutely obsessed with Huey Lewis.

And so many more. It's funny how a song can absolutely transport you back to a time and place. For example, you know the Glen Campbell song "Wichita Lineman"? When I hear it, I am taken back to my childhood, actually to a Saturday morning at the local laundromat, with my mom doing laundry, and that song coming over the radio. I can close my eyes and smell the dryers venting out clean warm air and hear the clothes thump-thumping as they rolled around and around.

Then, the song "Roller Coaster" by Ohio Players (not that I ever hear that anymore) -- it takes me back to spending the night with my best girlfriend in high school ... sitting on her bed and listening to music and giggling and talking for hours and hours at a stretch.

I love how emotional music is for me. A song can make me cry. Or laugh. Or wax nostalgic in a blog!

Have a good evening. And listen to a favorite old song...just for the fun of it!

My day

2008-07-19T20:27:00.004-05:00

So, today was a pretty good day in most respects. First of all, I wore a pair of walking shorts today that I bought several months ago as an incentive to lose more weight. When I bought them, I could get them up and over my hips, but could barely button and zip them. Today, they fit well! So that was a huge lift.

Steve and I went out for dinner tonight to Cracker Barrel -- good food and good company, so it was great.

Physically, I've still got a lot of different things going on. I have a very painful boil under my arm that first came up the week of July 4th. It got really bad on the long weekend, and I finally had Steve help me squeeze out some of the gook inside it. Talk about painful........ Anyway, after that, it went down and pretty much stopped hurting. Until a couple days ago, when it came back with a vengeance. UGH and OUCH! Went to the doctor yesterday and got an antibiotic for it, so I hope it will go away for good...it still hurts really bad for now, though.

My finger joint has been pretty painful today. I had such high hopes from the steroid dose pack. It worked really well for the week that I took it and for several days after, but I think the effect is pretty much gone. My finger looks just as swollen now as it ever did, and the pain is back, big time... I hate that.

The energy issues seem to be better, I think due to the cod liver oil. I can really tell a difference when I take it. So I've ordered a couple more bottles and will continue with it. It's so funny, a girl I work with saw the brown bottle on my desk and said, "What's in your 'Little House on the Prairie' bottle?" It does sort of look like an old-timey tonic...

Speaking of "old-timey," I just ordered some "black drawing salve" from this website. It's such a great website for vitamins, cod liver oil, supplements -- and at great prices. Anyway, a lady at work told me about the old fashioned black drawing salve that her mom used when she was a child and how effectively it worked on boils - to draw out the infection and help it to heal. I looked for it locally but couldn't find any. But of course, it is on the internet...isn't the world wide web a wonderful thing?

Oh, I almost forgot, I made some soup this morning. (I know, I know...it's July in the Delta...and nearly 100 degrees out there...what can I say? I'm crazy.) It just sounded good. I always shred and freeze the leftovers when I cook a roast in the crockpot (along with the juices) - they make the best base for a beef/vegetable soup. Anyway, I chopped up some garlic and onion, added some shredded carrots and chopped celery -- cooked that awhile in a little EVOO, then added my shredded roast and juices. Added a can of diced tomatoes and 1/2 head of cabbage sliced thin. Oh and my leftover sauteed yellow squash from the other night. Let it simmer for a little while, and ... soup! So, that will be lunch several days next week along with a side salad.

Just a quick note...

2008-07-17T22:18:00.002-05:00

I'm not feeling very well tonight, so I'm not going to post much. But I had to share one victory that happened today.

I dropped off my wedding ring at the jeweler's this afternoon on the way home from work. It has gotten so big it falls off my left hand, so I've been wearing it on my right hand or my middle finger on the left hand for a few weeks. Anyway...finally got to my local jeweler's today.

It was a size 6 3/4 but it's being resized to a 5 1/2. Wahoo! Tangible evidence of the weight loss. It's silly, I know, but it made me feel really good. The lady wanted to do a 5 1/4 but I said no, because sometimes my hands swell in the summertime. She said, "Okay, but you'll probably be back!" Which is fine, if I need to, but I don't want it tight...

More soon...

Today's food

2008-07-15T19:58:00.002-05:00

I've been taking a prednisone 7-day dose pack for my joint pain, and while it has definitely helped my joints, it has also ramped up my appetite something fierce. I've made a very concerted effort to keep my eating low carb in the past few days, and it has not been as easy as it normally is. Here's today's food:

2 cups coffee with Sweetzfree and Sugar Free Coffee Mate

Small apple with 2 tbsp. sugar free peanut butter (this is higher in carbs than I normally go on a single food, but it sounded good and it definitely beat some of the alternatives I had facing me)

Hamburger patty with lettuce, tomato slice, onion, pickles, mayo, and mustard

Yellow squash sauteed with yellow onion

Small spinach salad with blue cheese dressing

Unsweetened tea / water

And that's it. If I have something later, it will probably be celery w/sf peanut butter.

A scary day...

2008-07-15T19:46:00.002-05:00

I had a really big scare today. I got a call at work this morning from my sweet husband's boss. He said Steve was having severe abdominal pains and that he thought he should take him to the closest emergency room. After running in and telling my boss, I flew out the door and drove as quickly as I could to get to Steve. He was on the other side of town, so it seemed to take a really long time.

When I got to the ER, they had already taken Steve back to Triage, and I found him there, in terrible pain. They got him into a room within 20 minutes, and it didn't take long for them to put in an I.V., take a boatload of blood, give him something for pain and nausea, and get him sent up for a CT scan.

After several hours, the result was that we found out Steve has a very large hiatal hernia. I was so relieved that it was not worse. My mind had spun all sorts of scenarios best not even voiced, and mainly, I just feel grateful. He's home and resting this evening, armed with pain meds, nausea meds, and anti-acid meds. We will be avoiding large meals and spicy foods, and he'll follow up with his regular doctor in a couple days.

I feel like I can breathe again.

Sunday evening, relaxing at home

2008-07-13T19:17:00.008-05:00

Today's been a good day. We went to church this morning and have relaxed at home the rest of the day. Got some laundry done; made chicken stir fry for dinner. I've been experimenting with an almond cookie in the microwave, but it's not quite there yet...I'll post the recipe when I get it right.

Took a cute picture of Chance with his toy. Think his toy is big enough?? He loves to find the "squeaker" and chew on that part. If you're not paying enough attention to him, he'll throw it up in the air and it will land on your lap or at your feet. He's so funny.

But, I guess I need to give equal time to both of my "babies," so here's one of Boots from several months ago. I had taken down a wreath of fall leaves that was on my back door, and he decided he wanted to lay there.

Hope everyone has a good week!

Kindness

2008-07-10T19:34:00.003-05:00

I read a quote yesterday that really spoke to me.

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you
never know how soon it will be too late.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

I think the reason it struck such a chord with me is because it took me back to an occurrence several years ago. We had an elderly couple living next door to us - Carl and Dorothy. The sweetest people ... and so loving with each other. I loved seeing them interact with each other and hearing one talk about the other (when they were apart). They fussed over each other and worried about each other, and it was so sweet to watch.

They kept the house and yard neat as a pin and were wonderful neighbors. They both had health problems - Carl had breathing difficulties - some sort of lung issue, and Dorothy had cancer and diabetes. Much of the time that I knew her, she had no hair. However, she said the chemo was working, and she always had the best attitude and outlook. I enjoyed her company a lot.

They were on a fixed income (Social Security), without a lot of extra money. One evening, Dorothy asked me to take her to our neighborhood grocery store. It's only a couple miles from our house, and I was happy to do so. I picked up a couple things and Dorothy got what she needed, and as we were standing in the checkout line, she said, "I love the frozen biscuits they sell here so much. When we get our check I'm coming back and get some."

I had a fleeting thought to go and grab some of those biscuits and buy them for her. After all, they were only a few dollars. But ... I didn't want to offend her; I didn't want to embarrass her (or myself); and what's probably most true is ... I just wanted to get home.

I remember telling Steve later that night about that offhanded remark she had made and how I wish I had just gone and gotten the biscuits and not thought twice about it. In the days that followed though, life continued at its normal pace, and I forgot about it.

It wasn't more than a few weeks after that, and Dorothy was gone. She lost the battle with cancer, and it was a shock. I totally expected her to beat it. Within days, Carl had moved away - to his grown daughter's house in one of the suburbs of Memphis. Within a year, I attended his funeral as well.

Such a loss... I mourned the loss of our friends ... I hated losing such good neighbors ... but the overriding emotion I remember feeling was remorse. More than anything else, I wanted to go back to that night at the store. I wanted to be able to buy those biscuits for my sweet friend, Dorothy. I wanted to do that for her. Before her "next check" came, she was gone and her wish was unfulfilled.

And so, that's my story. That's why Emerson's quote made such an impression on me. Even though I have subconsciously tried to live by that philosophy, it was good to see it enunciated like that. And so my goal continues to be to live every day applying those words to my life.

2008-07-08T19:05:00.005-05:00

Today's food

2008-07-08T19:05:00.004-05:00

So, here's the line-up for today, thus far:

2 cups of coffee with SF Coffee Mate and Sweetzfree

1 apple with 2 T. peanut butter

large chef salad with spinach, iceberg lettuce, cucumbers, 2 baby carrots sliced thinly, 1/4 of a tomato, chopped, a couple tablespoons of chopped onion, turkey, ham, and bacon bits - with ranch dressing

handful of sunflower seeds

a piece of cold roasted chicken (leg/thigh)
1 oz. colby-jack cheese, sliced thinly

water and iced tea with Sweetzfree

Oh, and let's not forget the two big swigs of cod liver oil...ugh!

And that's it. I feel like someone pulled the plug on my energy, so I'm not going to post much today. Had to work overtime yesterday - about three hours. I was fine getting through it, but today I feel just totally wiped out...

More later...

Another sleepy, dusty Delta day...

2008-07-06T14:09:00.002-05:00

Okay, first of all, can I just say that the heat is back, full-force? We have enjoyed a few days of surprisingly lower temps (highs in the mid-to-upper-80s) with lower-than-normal humidity levels, and it was wonderful while it lasted. I took advantage by roasting a chicken in the oven and doing some other "hot" cooking. As long as the temperature is at or over the 90 degree mark, I just refuse to turn on the oven... And today, it's ba-ack -- high humidity and muggy, hot temperatures -- ugh!

I made a pot of pinto beans in the slow cooker yesterday morning, with some salt pork thrown in. I just sprinkled in some seasonings -- garlic powder, salt, pepper, onion powder, dried parsley -- and they turned out really good. Nutritionally speaking, dried beans are a much better "bang for the buck" than canned. These particular beans have 22 g/carbs per 1/4 cup, but 15 g/fiber, so it's 7 net carbs. Then, when you add in the whole "resistant starch" factor, I believe they the actual carb impact is quite a bit lower than 7 grams for a quarter cup. I had 1/2 cup yesterday, and I'll probably have 1/2 cup later today, and some through the week, too. They turned out really tasty in the slow cooker. In the past I have always made my beans on the stovetop, but I think I'm a slow cooker "convert" and won't go back!

And, before I end this post, I have to say I love the song that today's post title refers to...do you know it?

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-04T09:21:00.009-05:00

This was an e-mail I received recently and thought it well worth sharing...enjoy! I checked it out on Snopes.com and it's true as written. This was written in October 2000 by Wisconsin resident Michael T. Powers.

Six Boys And Thirteen Hands...

Each year I am hired to go to Washington , DC , with the eighth grade class from Clinton , WI where I grew up, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation's capitol, and each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall's trip was especially memorable.

On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima Memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history -- that of the six brave soldiers raising the American Flag at the top of a rocky hill on the island of Iwo Jima, Japan, during WW II. Over 100 students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, "Where are you guys from?"

I told him that we were from Wisconsin "Hey, I'm a cheese head, too! Come gather around, cheese heads, and I will tell you a story."

James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, DC., to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good night to his dad, who had passed away. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, D.C., but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night. When all had gathered around, he reverently began to speak. (Here are his words that night.)

"My name is James Bradley and I'm from Antigo, Wisconsin . My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called Flags of Our Fathers which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller List right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me.

Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game. A game called 'War' But it didn't turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don't say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old -- and it was so hard that the ones who did make it home never even would talk to their families about it.

(He pointed to the statue) You see this next guy? That's Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene's helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph .. a photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. It was just boys who won the battle of Iwo Jima -- boys, not old men. The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the 'old man' because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn't say, 'Let's go kill some Japanese' or 'Let's die for our country.' He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, 'You do what I say, and I'll get you home to your mothers.'

The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona . Ira Hayes was one who walked off Iwo Jima . He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, 'You're a hero.' He told reporters, 'How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?' So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes carried the pain home with him and eventually died dead drunk, face down at the age of 32 (ten years after this picture was taken).

The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky . A fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, 'Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn't get down. Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night.' Yes, he was a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother's farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. Those neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.

The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin , where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite's producers or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say 'No, I'm sorry, sir, my dad's not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don't know when he is coming back' My dad never fished or even went to Canada . Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell's soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn't want to talk to the press.

You see, like Ira Hayes, my dad didn't see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, 'cause they are in a photo and on a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over
200 boys as they died. And when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed, without any medication or help with the pain.

When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, 'I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.'

So that's the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima , and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time."

Suddenly, the monument wasn't just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero for the reasons most people would believe, but a hero nonetheless.

We need to remember that God created this vast and glorious world for us to live in, freely, but also at great sacrifice. Let us never forget from the Revolutionary War to the current War on Terrorism, and all the wars in-between, that sacrifice was made for our freedom.

This fourth of July, remember to pray for those still in murderous unrest around the world. Take the time to thank God for being alive and being free at someone else's sacrifice.

One thing I learned while on tour with my 8th grade students in DC that is not mentioned here is that if you look at the statue very closely and count the number of 'hands' raising the flag, there are 13. When the man who made the statue was asked why there were 13, he simply said the 13th hand was the hand of God.

Health update

2008-07-02T18:48:00.002-05:00

I have been having issues of late with my energy (lack of), joint pain (especially in my fingers and knees), and general fatigue. I went to the doctor about a month ago - actually, it was my nurse practitioner - and she ran a plethora of blood tests. Practically everything came back within normal ranges, although several things (B12 and hematocrit, in particular) were barely at the bottom of "normal."

Those low scores are not new to me. I have pernicious anemia and must take monthly B12 shots and daily OTC iron, so those two numbers are never very high.

The NP said she thinks I have fibromyalgia, which upsets me. Not so much that I might have this disorder (well, okay, yes, I would be upset to have it), but more so that I feel like this was a rush to judgment on her part. I've always heard that a fibromyalgia diagnosis is reached sort of as a "last resort" type of diagnosis. You run tests and more tests, rule out this and that, and ultimately decide, okay...it's not this disease or that disorder, so it must be fibromyalgia.

I don't feel like she did that with me. I feel ... well ... slighted, I guess. After I got my blood test results, I shared them on the low-carb forum I frequent. A person on the forum that I trust suggested that I need to take a closer look at the anemia-related test scores (B12 and hct), because they could well be a part of the fatigue and low energy. She also suggested that I get a ferritin test done, which would shows the current iron level in my blood.

So I faxed my NP's office and asked if we could up the amount of B12 or the frequency of the shots, and if we could do a ferritin (iron level) test. Her response (after 4 days) was to give me a prescription for 4 weekly B12 shots and a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. What??

Anyway, to update ... I will take my 3rd weekly B12 shot tomorrow. I have made a follow-up appointment, not with my NP (whom I've always been very happy with), but with the MD at that office, who is truly a wonderful doctor. He told Steve a couple years ago to eat a low-carb diet to help with weight loss and hypoglycemia. Plus, he is that rare breed of doctor who actually listens to his patients and takes time with them. Trouble is, he's nearing retirement age and I think he's lessened his patient load. I always say getting an appointment to see him is like getting an appointment to see the Queen of England.

Regardless, I do have an appointment to see him at the end of this month. I want to talk to him about my joint pain and the fatigue, and see what he recommends. I would like to get a cortisol test and more in-depth thyroid tests. I want to find out what kind of specialist I might need to see, if I do need to see one... And I want to know that he's not just blowing me off and that there is hope for me to really feel better.

In the meantime, I am taking 2-4 tablespoons of cod liver oil daily, and a bunch of other vitamins and supplements. I do feel a little better energy-wise, but certainly not anywhere near 100%

Also, my joints are still very messed up. The pain that started in my right index finger now seems to have progressed into most of my fingers. My hands feel very "tight" at the middle joint when I try to make a fist. My right index finger is now ever so slightly bent at the middle joint towards my middle finger. I am frequently unable to open jars or bottles. And lifting things, grocery bags, for example (where the weight is on my fingers) can be very painful. All of these are recent developments, and I am very concerned. I'm worried about rheumatoid arthritis, but the tests for rheumatoid factor and SED rate (which apparently is used as a marker for RA) came back within the normal limits. So I don't know what is going on ... but I need to find out. In doing some research on it, I found out that some people don't have elevated numbers in their blood test, but they still have RA ... I hope and pray I do not have RA. And while I'm at it, I'd rather not have fibromyalgia either ...

However, I do want to know, whatever it is. I'm much better when I know what I need to deal with. Then, I will get on with the business of dealing with it ... whatever it turns out to be.

What I've been reading...

2008-06-29T20:26:00.002-05:00

I love to read. I've always said I could sit and read the phone book if there was nothing else available. So, here's what I've been reading lately:

I recently finished a good novel called Leota's Garden by Francine Rivers. As I mentioned in a post awhile back, my favorite book in the whole wide world is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. So when a friend asked me if I wanted to read her copy of Leota's Garden, I didn't hesitate. It's a sweet and somewhat sad story of an elderly woman (Leota) who is pretty much estranged from her adult children and grandchildren. She's all alone and her world has closed in around her, keeping her inside her small house, afraid and depressed. It's a story of redemption and hope, but also loss and pain. I cried when I read it, which is always a mark of a "good read" for me. :-)

I also read a novel within the last week or two called Covenant Child by Terri Blackstock. I enjoyed it a lot; it was a page-turner for me.

Speaking of Terri Blackstock, she has a series of books out, called the Restoration Series, and book #4, which I believe is the last book of the series, came out recently. I bought Dawn's Light off E-Bay, and am expecting it this week. The other three have been FABULOUS, and I'm sure I'll enjoy this one as well. If you enjoy Christian fiction, check out Last Light, which is book #1. It has such an original and unique story line.

Okay, so moving on from the Christian genre......what else? Oh, I bought the new "Stephanie Plum" book (Fearless Fourteen) this week, but haven't read it yet. I love Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. They are funny, irreverent, and I absolutely adore them. I never laugh out loud while reading a book so much as when I read the "Stephanie" books.

I'm waiting to start Fearless Fourteen until I finish my current book. It's called Alice's Tulips and it's by Sandra Dallas. It's letters written by a young (Civil) war bride whose husband has just joined the Union Army, leaving her on his Iowa farm with only his mother for company. The letters are all written to her sister and are filled with accounts of her daily life on the farm, making quilts for "their boys" (along with descriptions of the various quilting patterns they use,) and the all-too-occasional get-together of young women. She's a sassy girl, but you can tell the War is wearing her down. (I'm almost half-way through.) Anyway, it's a good read thus far, and I'm enjoying it.

I've started The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth by Jonny Bowden, but I confess, I have not gotten very far into it. It's not the book -- I love his writing style. I had let Steve read it first, because he was interested in it, so I just haven't had an evening to really sit down and devote time to it. Maybe later this week...

So that's what I've been reading lately. I like Chick Lit, some Christian novels, and hate romance novels... How about you? Any good books to recommend to me?

A follow up re: this week's food

2008-06-28T08:05:00.002-05:00

So, last Sunday night I posted about what I had done to get ready for this week and how I hoped it would help me to have a better week, food-wise and stress-level-wise. I had made meatballs and sauce in the slow cooker, roasted some skin-on chicken quarters, and prepped some low carb snacks and a nice big salad to help me for the week.

As a result, I think it was a pretty good week -- much better than the week before. I had dinner for Sunday night and three weeknights basically done - I only added some veggies or a salad to the what I had. Lunches at work were not an issue; I had everything on hand to make what I wanted each day.

Then, one night we had salmon fillets that I had picked up at Sam's. They're seasoned in sort of a "blackened" rub and frozen into individual shrink-wrapped packages, so I just put a couple down in the frig the night before to thaw, added a drizzle of olive oil on top, and popped them into the microwave for a couple minutes. So easy and really good, too. Costco also sells their version of seasoned salmon fillets, which I like even more.

So, all things considered, it was a good plan to cook ahead and avoid having to turn on the oven this week. I hope I can do the same thing this weekend, but it's shaping up to be a busy one, so I'm not sure. I got some Walden Farms sugar-free barbecue sauce the other day, so I'd like to try barbecued chicken in the slow cooker, and see how that works... Then, my creative friend Vikki (http://vikkiskitchn.spaces.live.com/) has a recipe for Mexican-style chicken in the Crockpot that sounds so yummy, and I really want to try it too. So...I need to get cracking!

Mindful Eating

2008-06-26T21:11:00.002-05:00

I was talking to a friend the other day about our respective low carb eating plans, and we were sort of comparing notes on what works well for us, what is particularly tempting to us ... that sort of thing.

Anyway, I told her one major difference in my eating over the past year has been that I am now very mindful of everything I eat -- what nutritive value it has, the approximate (if not exact) carb count, and where it falls on my personal "low carb scale." I believe each low carber has to find their own way to some extent, with regard to what works best for their body and what they can live with comfortably and healthily. What works best for me might not be optimal for you, and vice versa. But in my personal journey of doing that -- figuring out what I like, what I don't, what promotes weight loss, what causes a stall, what I just can't live without -- it has made me very conscious of everything that passes my lips.

I can't tell you how many years I went, eating mindlessly. No idea what was really coming into my system. Furthermore, I truly did not want to know! I'm such a "comfort eater," and I have eaten so many times in my life just to make myself feel better!

So, to me, a big blessing of this way of life is just being mindful of what I eat. Even if I choose to indulge in a higher-carb food, I do it fully aware of the approximate (or exact) carb count and the consequences of eating that particular item. I think that's a gift.